Off track...

Ok, in my last post I promised pics of Christian's 'off' as it's called and I intend to deliver. But first I'll shed some light on how it came to be.

Christian was going down the long straight and at the end he realised he hadn't braked early enough or hard enough to make the hard left turn. He knew that if he tried to turn all he would do is send the car into a very painful series of rolls, so he had no choice but to continue braking whilst plowing into a field. Here's the results.

His poor Levin tyre-deep in mud.

His tracks after being towed out.

The skid marks of his entry into said paddock.

Christian showing us where he came to a stop, a mere three metres away from this...

Trackday

On Saturday we went to a Trackday held by one of our mates Mark to have a bit of a race around. I did the morning session which was just a practice and was untimed, and Christian, Mike and Mike (Brooksey) did the arvo timed session. I didn't actually get any pics of me hooning around the track in my car but here's more than enough pics to keep you all happy!

Kat and Mike, ever the smiley couple!

Me in Mark's car, waiting for a ride.

Kat and I. We had already taken a pic but Mike deleted it by accident so we had to do it over again.

Us losing it after taking said photo.

Brooksey and I being caught out by Kat doing male model poses.

Christian holding aloft his trophy for most consistant of the day (I made him pose for the camera...)

Christian actually had an off but I'm waiting to get some more pics of that before I post so expect another photo filled entry soon!

On another note, Talk Like a Pirate day was in full swing in Perth today. My web server, iinet changed their name to Aye Aye Net for the day and also gave their site a Pirate makeover. Most of the radio stations also had a Pirate theme, with jokes, stories and special guests. My favourite joke was 'What is a Pirate's favourite pick up line?'

'Aaagh, prepare to be boarded'

Angel

I've stopped twice in the last three weeks to help out ladies who's cars have broken down, and I've been surprised both times by the amount of people who just drive past, ignoring their plight.
The first time was actually in the car park of my local shopping centre. A heavly pregnant woman got out of her car that was reversed half way out of a bay and said it wasn't starting but she thought I'd be able to reverse out around her. I said 'Um, do you need some help?' and she goes 'Oh, I don't want to be a pain'. I told her it was no trouble and we managed to roll her car back into another bay. But while we were doing this at least five people tried to drive past and honked at us for being in the middle of the road.
Can you believe it???
I mean, not only did I think people would stop to help anyone who had broken down, but the fact that this woman looked like she was about to have her waters break right then and there, I really thought that would have made more people want to help. Obviously I was wrong. Eventually though a couple came over to help and the guy turned out to be a mechanic so we managed to get the car started. As I was leaving the lady told me I was a complete angel and she was lucky I was passing by at that moment.
Tonight I was driving home from my Mum's place when I came across a car with their hazard lights on just around a corner. I pulled over and asked the lady behind the wheel if she needed any help and she informed me that she didn't have her phone with her, had a broken ankle and thought her car wasn't working because the guy at the petrol station had put in unleaded instead of diesel. I gave her my phone and she called her partner, who wouldn't come and get her because he was in the middle of a workout!!! It was at this point that she started swearing at him like a fishmongers wife, and really I don't blame her. I'd be the same if Christian refused to come pick me up when I'd broken down. She ended up hanging up in a huff and then bursting into tears. All the while car after car drove past and none stopped to help until a couple of guys who really could only be called 'derros' pulled up (Smerk will understand and maybe the Edinburgh crew, although I don't think we explained it all that well. http://www.aussieslang.com/slang/australian-slang-d.asp?page=2 hopefully this will help) . We rolled the car off the road and I gave the lady and her little boy a ride home, although I didn't stay to witness the murder that I'm sure took place shortly afterwards. But before I left, this lady also told me I was an angel and I left feeling really warm and fuzzy because I'd done a good thing.
It got me thinking though why more and more people today just prefer to look the other way and completely ignore those who are in need. It makes you feel really good when you help others and I think the world would be a better place if we all did more of it.
But somehow I don't think that's going to happen.

Father's Day

It was Father's day last Sunday so my Dad and his 'brood', as he lovingly calls us, went up to Heathcote for a barbie. Heathcote is an old mental asylum that they've done up to be an art centre and restaurant for the buildings and a huge nautical-themed playground for the kiddies on the grounds. It's a lovely spot but very crowded on a lovely sunny day when it also just happens to be Father's day!


Anyhoo, here's some pics of the day.

Barb and me, with my not-very-pixie cut hair

Christian, laughing at the kids and their antics...little gits!

Dad, always pulling a face for the camera

Will, liking his spoon immensely with my brother-in-law Mike in the background

Some good news for those who don't know, we've finally gotten the go ahead to buy my Dad's house so we're in the proceedings now. Hopefully it'll all be finalised within the month. Hurrah!

And on a not-so-great note, I've hurt my back again so I've been in agony all over the weekend and am still hurting now after my chiro. It hurts heaps when I sit in font of the puter, so I haven't really been able to come on much. But I'll be on more as soon as I can! But I miss you all heaps and hope you're all doing well.

*MWA MWA*

Pain, pee and pixie cuts

Ok, Sunday morning, just after 8 and everything is nice and quiet. Barb, Mike and the kids left over an hour ago after staying the night, and although it's too late for me to get a sleep in, at least Christian can. While my husband dozes in a nice warm bed, I will be running around, doing dishes, picking up toys and washing the mountain of urine soaked bedding left to me by my thirsty niece. We had thought it a stroke of luck when all three kids fell asleep by 8pm, but it turned out to be the worst that could happen. Chiara may have gone to the toilet before bed, but she drank a little more than we'd thought at dinner and, well, the rest is obvious!

Question : What is the most painful thing, in the whole entire world? And this even eclipses the 'pinching the eyeballs while removing contacts' thing. Oh, and to make it even worse, this is entirely voluntary too.
A bikini wax.
Now, I've never waxed in this area before. I've not even really been a shaver before since Christian doesn't like stubble. I just keep it neatly trimmed like a lovely manicured garden (sorry, I'm trying to be as delicate as possible about this subject for those of you who may be a little squeemish and haven't as yet figured out that this blog isn't really for you).
Now, Barb is a trained beautician and waxes my legs for me and also does my older sister's brazilians' (does anyone know why they're called brazilians'? Really, it's a rather silly name. I'm not all familiar with the Brazilian flag but is it just bare with a little strip down the middle? Sorry, I digress...). Anyway, so Jo convinces me that I should give it a go and Barb says she'll do it. And then the pain begins. My God, I cannot even begin to describe it. Jo says it hurts less than childbirth and gets easier the more times you do it. I'm sure there are a lot of things less painful than childbirth, but this would be the most painful of all of those things!
Anyway, we didn't even get close to doing a brazilian because I was almost fainting from a combination of pain and blood loss (did you know that you bleed rather profusely the first time? I didn't, but it stands to reason I suppose. That hair is supposed to be there, and when you violently rip it out your body is going to respond). So we cut the whole thing short and I will never ever be doing that again. Ever.

And last but not least, I got all my hair cut off yesterday (the stuff on my head, obviously, since I'm sure if you've gotten this far, you've just read the above). Barb says it's kind of styled into a pixie cut but I think it's a bit too long at the front for it to be called pixie. But it started with P and it made the title sound good so we'll just leave it at that! I then bought a hair dye and dyed it as black as it would go. I wanted to dye it this colour a while ago but Christian prefers me red so I obliged him. But now, it's my turn to do what I want and so it's midnight black.
I'll try and get some pics for you soon.

And that's been my weekend so far! Hopefully, the rest will be rather uneventful!

Take 3

Not too much to say, not too much has happened. I spent today with Tash who was held up at knife point on Thursday. She's doing ok, but doesn't want to spend much time alone, which is understandable.
I'm chatting with Boo tonight on the phone which will be fun. We haven't spoken on the phone since when I was in London so it will be great to catch up. Our timing has been terrible lately, as she said we've resembled ships in the night.

Anyway, since they seemed rather popular the last two times I posted them, here's some more odd spots.

Odd Spot#124 : The mechanical shark in the movie Jaws was nicknamed Bruce

Odd Spot# 351 : Due to its eye placement a donkey can see all of it's hooves at the same time

Odd Spot#117 : When the Eiffel Tower was built in 1884, Parisians referred to it as 'the tragic lamppost'

Odd Spot# 229 : Horse racing regulations require no racehorse's name to contain more than 18 letters

Odd Spot# 378 : The low rumbling of distant thunder is called 'brontide'

Odd Spot#413 : Barbie got her first car in 1962

Odd Spot# 157 : The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows

Better late than never

I was very excited on Monday night when I got a chance to sit down and watch the F1 race we had taped the night before. It was an action packed race (yes, they do happen in motorsport so just keep your mouth closed please...), there was rain, crashes, spins, daring overtaking moves all culminating in Button winning by a 40 second margin!
Yay!
There was much jumping up and down and screaming by me and it even managed to get a smile from Christian. It took 113 races but he finally did it. It must be wonderful to have all that hard work, effort and determination eventually paying off.
So Jensen, if by chance you ever stumble upon this site, congratulations mate!

Also on F1 news, Webber has been signed with Red Bull so hopefully he'll actually have a car next year that doesn't fall to pieces or blow up every single race. Hurrah for him too!

That is all.

Happy birthday to ME!

Hurrah, it was my birthday yesterday! As my brother-in-law put it 'Rejoice, you're now 90% of 30!'. I think I'll just rejoice it's my birthday, not that part...

Anyhoo, I spent most of the day shopping for party stuff and cleaning. And then my sister and her kids got here and I realised I shouldn't have bothered with the cleaning. Those kids are cyclones in disguise I tell ya!

I had fun even though there were quite a few people who didn't show up. Lots of people were late too so it went quite late and with this morning's early rise, I'm stuffed. It seemed we had more pizzas than people but really there wasn't much left over. Unless you include the cake...cake or death? As Smerk put it, it was death by cake!

Anyway, here's some pics I took. And sorry, I didn't really get one of me in my boots...sorry.

Smerk and I with Chiara. Smerk was such a good sport putting up with the kids. She got jumped on and tickled and had cushions put on her head and she never complained.

Kat and Dan comparing shoes.

Mike (Brooksey) playing the Super NES while we play Apples to Apples

Max sleeping with my snuggle pillow

Christian and Lance, no doubt talking about something nerdy.

Barb with her new hair colour. She dyed it bright pink the other day but it soon faded so she tried copper. Next will be purple.

Today I have Chiara's 4th birthday to go too which means lots of fun fun fun with lots of sick sick sick kids.

*sigh*

Interest...ing

Interest rates went up again today. This is good news. For me. Not for most other people. But I was overjoyed when I heard the news. This means that house prices will eventually come back down from the clouds and Christian and I may be able to actually afford to buy a house. With prices in Perth surpassing Melbourne and only just behind Sydney as being the most expensive place in Australia to buy, the future was looking bleak. The average cost of a house in Perth just reached $400k. How crazy is that??? But with the interest hike, people will soon panic, sell up and downsize and then it will get cheaper again. Can you see my point now about interest rates increasing being good? I knew you would. You strike me as being the intelligent type.

I got my measly tax return back this week and so I finally got the Maybe Baby I've been wanting for a while. It's this tiny little microscope that you spit on (a little bit anyway) and when the saliva crystallises it tells you if you're ovulating or not. If it's 'that other time of the month' the crystals form into little fern shapes but if you're not ovulating they just make bubbles. It's really cool. It was pretty expensive up front ($85) but it's better than paying 20 or 30 bucks every few weeks for the more conventional ovulation kit.

I'm sure you guys will be fascinated by all this.

Anyway, that's about it for now. I haven't been online for a while, I'm going through one of those stages where I prefer to read a book than sit up staring at the computer screen all night. It's nothing personal - please don't cry. I'm sure in next to no time I'll be annoying you all on a constant basis again.

Okie, that's all for tonight.
*hugs*

Oh, by the way...

I found this rather funny.

Nerd Alert! Nerd Alert!

*sigh*
How quickly the weekend goes. One minute you're leaving work on Friday night and it seems the very next minute you're heading to bed on Sunday, dreading the next morning.

I had a good weekend though. On Saturday we went out to dinner at La Porcetta, an Italian restaurant that's always pretty good, followed by an evening of playing pool (and God forbid, I had to play! We only had four of us there so I got included automatically).

On Sunday, Christian had a bunch of mates around to play Magic cards (don't anyone say a word! I mean it!).

On the left is Tiho, Christian and sexy Mike, and on the right at the front is brother-in-law Mike, Dan and barely visible Scott.

While the boys were entertaining themselves, Kat and I went out for a bush walk, taking Max with us.

Max (short for Max factor 2000) belongs to sexy Mike and is a gorgeous dog. She has such a nice nature, never runs off or barks. I'm not sure exactly which breed she is, Mike just describes her as half goat, half doormat. We went into the bush surrounding the Weir and then Kat and I decided to go up to John Forrest National Park. After dropping Max back off with the boys we made our way up there and went for a hike to the falls and the tunnel. The falls weren't exactly spectacular after such a dry winter but the tunnel is always so much fun.

Some pesky kids were riding their bikes through it which wasn't the smartest thing in the world as the ground is pretty uneven and half way through it gets so dark the only thing you can see is the light at the end, but we managed to make it through unscathed.

Our little hike ended up being roughly six kms (maybe slightly more) so it turned into a good walk. The weather was gorgeous, the sun was shining and we had a great time. Then we headed back home to watch Father Ted and Eddie Izzard which rounded off the evening rather well even if I do say so myself!

Say what?

On Sunday Christian and I went down south to help a friend out with his rally practice day. Apart from getting covered in red dust and getting extremely sunburnt (it's winter for Christ's sake!) we had a great day.

Along the way we drove through numerous towns and I was struck yet again by the wonderful names they have. In fact, my dream job would be making up names for small Australian towns.

Here's a selection of towns we drove through on our short trip to Benger.

Mundijong
North Dandalup
Pinjarra
Waroona
Yarloop
Wokalup
Warawarrup
Coolup
Cookernup
Wagerup
And numerous other towns ending in 'up'!

Roadkill

I passed some roadkill the other day that looked suspiciously like a lobster...

That is all.

Can you hear the melody?

I'm not a big music fan. I listen to my mp3s in my car but I don't really listen to music at home and I rarely have the radio on. However I'm going to now share with you some of my favourite songs (unless of course you'd like to leave now - the door's over there *points*)

These songs I feel are timeless. No matter how often I hear them, they always feel fresh and leave me feeling upbeat and chirpy.
* Amazing by Alex Lloyd
*She will be loved by Maroon Five
* Where you end by Moby
* Everything you want by Vertical Horizon
* Magic Carpet Ride by Steppenwolf or any of the covers

The following are songs that are special to me in various ways.
* Throw your arms around me by Hunters and Collectors. About six months into our relationship Christian and I panicked slightly after realising that we didn't have a song. We finally settled on this one as it symbolises embracing the moment and living for today.
*Truly Madly Deeply by Savage Garden. From the moment this song was released I knew I wanted to walk down the isle to it. Six years later I finally did and Barb almost burst into tears when she heard the first notes, as she knew I'd been wanting it for so long. It's kind of replaced the above as 'our' song.
* Sweet Home Alabama by Lynyrd Skynyrd and Thunder Struck by ACDC. These were the two favourite songs of our friend Rob who was killed in a hit and run while he and Christian were walking home from basketball many years ago. Whenever I hear them it takes me back to an innocent time when we could laugh without wondering what the ultimate price would be.
*Pachabel's Canon. My favourite piece of music ever. It is enchanting, uplifting and so beautiful it can move me to tears.

On a final note I would like to say Happy Birthday to Christian and Barb, who brought so much pain and tearing to their mothers on the 8th of July ;-)
We went out for brekkie last weekend for Barb's celebrations and yesterday we had a barbie here for Christian. We had a lot of fun and ate way too much cake, and we also had several drinks. I must say I was definitely tipsy when I lit the bbq and if it wasn't for the more pressing concern of cooking various animal remains, I most likely would have crossed the line into 'inebriation'. However I paced myself after that and so remained slightly tipsy for the remainder of the evening. Christian also had a few drinks, staying clear of the Southers though as he really didn't want to do the whole 'bucks night alcohol poisoning' thing again. The vodka he consumed did make him slightly better at playing Guitar Hero than he normally is and it's a shame I couldn't find my camera. You'll just have to imagine how amusing it was!

Ha Ha, very funny Christian

As most of you would know, I'm a huge Jenson Button fan. I received an email from Christian tonight titled 'Button injured in horrific F1 accident'.

Now, I missed the US Grand Prix on Sunday. I did hear that there was a huge crash into turn 1 and most of the field were taken out, including Button. Even though I had seen the update on his blog talking about the accident, it just didn't click with me that this was a joke. I was slightly panicky as I opened the email and missed the grin on Christian's face. This is what awaited me.

Needless to say that I wasn't immediately amused. Christian pissed himself laughing while I called him a prick. After a minute or two I was laughing too, but it wasn't a very nice thing to do!

Yay for the weekend

I was sent on a first aid course yesterday for work which meant I got a free refresher course (yay!) plus I missed out on pension Thursday (double yay!). While I was there however, I was shocked by a few things.
Firstly, out of the sixteen people attending the course, only two of us had done first aid recently enough to remember it (a couple of people had done it in high school but didn't remember anything about it). I was shocked by those odds. I have done eight first aid courses during my life, I really believe it's a necessity. There have only been a few times when I've had to use it, but if I didn't know what to do, the consequences could have been a lot worse than they were, especially when my niece was choking. What would these people have done if a loved one had collapsed, and knowing CPR could have saved their life? I am such a firm believer in the fact that everyone should have the basic skills.
Secondly, I was shocked that EAR has been disregarded. Apparently they have just completed a five year study into CPR and have come to the conclusion that if a person is not breathing and shows no signs of life (you don't even check for a pulse anymore) you commence CPR immediately. Gone are the days of mouth to mouth and gone are the days of a different rate for babies, children and adults. It's all the same now.
Crazy huh? But I can see their logic, but dammit it's hard to put behind you all those habits of the past.

Work has been hectic this last week. Everyone is panicking about the end of the financial year and so chaos has ensued. I am so tired but I have an RDO on Monday so hurrah for a long weekend! Plus the Commonwealth Bank five hundred meters up the road from us was held up on Wednesday so everyone has been a bit on edge about that. There have been lots of armed holdups in the area lately, mainly targeting chemists and liquor stores, but when you work at the bank, you have to realise the risks.

But enough of that. It's the weekend and I'm happy.
Oh, and if anyone gets bored over the weekend, check out Litmocracy as Boo and I have submitted new work, Boo another drawing and I've had a go at some poetry (Eeek I know but it'll keep everyone off my back until I have a chance to finish another story)

Have a good one guys.

Getting back to nature

While our hubbies were busy doing nerdy things today, Barb and I joined Dad and the kids for a stroll around Mundaring Weir. The Weir is about 15ish kms from me and is a favourite picnic spot near Mundaring. I took some pics while I was there, and Boo will be delighted to see that not all the kangaroos around here are dead on the side of the road.

The view through the trees

Chiara, Darcie, Me and Will, Barb and Caleb

Darcie, ever the poser!

You can't really tell here, but this mummy roo has a joey in her pouch

Three of the ten or so roos that were in the area grazing

Also, I went to a shop called Red Stripe Clothing today in Northbridge which is Perth's own Goth shop, a little like Electric Cabaret, minus the pirates. I went in search of boots and I've ordered some in, so it will be a couple of weeks before I can get you all photo's. However, a heads up to Boo and Mouse. When you come to visit me, bring lots of money! The shoes there are so cheap! They don't have New Rocks, but a very similar brand from the US, my boots only cost $190 AUD. And Boo, you know the shoes you love with the star through the sole? They have about ten different types of them there and they're only $80 AUD. It's just a wonderful shop! redstripclothing.com is the url if you want to have a looksie.

Oh, and finally, because I finally got a photo, here's Barb with her shaved head. It's grown back a lot in the four weeks since she shaved it for Shave For a Cure, but you'll get the drift.

What the deuce?

Stewie Griffin is my hero.

And without further ado, here's some of my favourite Stewie quotes.

Stewie: There's always been a lot of tension between Lois and me, and it's not so much that I want to kill her, it's just, I want her not to be alive anymore

Lois: Stewie why don't you play in the other room?
Stewie: Why don't you burn in hell?

Stewie (to Death): Email me at lois must die (all one word) at yahoo.com

Stewie: You know, I rather like this God fellow. Very theatrical, you know. Pestilence here, a plague there. Omnipotence ... gotta get me some of that.

Stewie (after tripping Peter): Ha ha ha, oh my God! I almost didn't do it, I almost didn't do it! I thought, is this in bad taste? But you know what, I went for it. I went for it and I'm so glad I did! Ooooh, worth it, totally worth it.

Stewie: Nothing says "Obey Me" like a bloody head on a fence post!

Stewie: Oh yes, you have a lot to think about: public drunkenness, grand theft auto...Brian: You forgot the part where I made you smash your head into the windshield.Stewie: I don't remember-Brian: (Slams on brakes, causing Stewie to fly forward into winshield)Stewie: Yes, well, I suppose I walked right into that one.

Ok, I'm done now.

A B C...

I went shopping the other day and picked up a really nice black halter neck dress. I was very excited! However, I then realised that I would have to buy a convertible bra to go with it. Me and bra shopping do not go well together.

I went to Bras-n-things and actually found a black strapless bra in an 18E. I tried it on and my boobs were so squished. The lady came in and measured me and said 'No wonder you're squished, you're actually an F cup'.

I almost cried. Finding E cup bras is hard enough as it is, but F cup? It's almost impossible. Luckily for me they had an F cup in that bra (Hurrah!) so I can wear my dress out tomorrow. Christian was a little shocked when I told him my new measurements - I don't think he could quite believe his luck. I on the other hand am giving even more consideration to breast reduction surgery. Most of the time I rather like my boobs, but there are times when they're just a damn inconvenience.

I'm sure there are ladies out there who would agree with me on that one.

Who thinks I'm being unreasonable?

Ah, the joys of the Internet. I can always rely on you guys to give me an honest opinion on if I'm overreacting or being completely reasonable.

Christian and I had a bit of an argument yesterday concerning a certain friend of ours, Dan. Now, Dan is a nice enough guy, except I can really only handle him in small doses. He has some habits that irk me and says and does things at times that really shit me. He also has no grasp of the concept that married people like to spend time, alone with their partner.

Dan is over at my house usually one or two nights during the week and then on the weekend he'll come round, stay at least one night and will be over at least one other time during the weekend. To make matters worse, he doesn't have a car at the moment and so he'll need to get picked up and dropped off at home and when he stays the night it's usually more convenient for him to get dropped off while we're on our way out, instead of making two trips. So he's usually here until mid-afternoon.

This weekend for example, he comes over on Friday night, stays over and then leaves about one in the arvo. Tonight (Sunday) he is coming over to watch Formula 1.
Now what made me so frustrated and, to be honest, a little pissed at this was that he had borrowed his mother's car and so didn't need to wait around for Christian to drop him home yesterday. Still he stayed, sitting in the loungeroom playing fucking playstation games, even while Christian was out working on the car.

Christian and I both work fulltime, we keep different hours so we miss each other when I've gone to bed, he's staying up and then when I get up earlier in the morning. We don't have a hell of a lot of quality time together as it is, and Dan intrudes further into that time.

Now, obviously our argument stemmed around these facts. I told Christian I was a little annoyed that Dan was over so much and I thought it was a bit odd that he spent all his spare time hanging around with a married couple. Christian found nothing odd in this and said that we could still have sex while Daniel was asleep in the morning and he couldn't see what my problem was. I said there was no way in the world I was going to have sex if Dan was asleep in our loungeroom and that Christian would just have to go without, plus it wasn't just the sex thing but just spending time together. I also asked if Dan had any other friends as he gets on my nerves.

It went on and on for a bit and I stormed out in a huff and spent the evening sulking. I guess it just points out the really obvious differences between men and women. Hopefully Christian will start telling Dan more often that he can't come round because we're busy (because God knows Dan doesn't listen to me when I tell him that - if I can't itinerise exactly what we're doing he says that we're not doing much and comes round anyway, little git).

*sigh*

Iri, this is for, ok babe!

I have bowed under the immense pressure of a discontent Iridium and so here are more pics of the trip.

Boo and I in matching PJ's

Oh my God, that girl has pink hair!

Tru, with 'The Line' clearly visible, doing cool balancing stuff with a sword.

Alex with a Nessie hat (I know someone has one of me in that hat but thankfully it hasn't surfaced as yet)

Me collecting my very own Nettie's Nessie Water

Cool graffiti at top of The Big Hill

Iri, I have more but I'll save them for another day. Hope these are ok!

Is it almost THAT time already???

Well, tomorrow will come and I shall have to return to work.
*sigh*
That's always the worst part of a holiday, isn't it? The going back to work aspect. Well, there's no point dwelling on it I suppose, I just need to try and make the most of today.

I had some exciting news over the weekend. It seems that Kat (my friend who I went to Sexpo with) and Sexy Mike have gotten together! Hurrah! I don't know how it's going to work out as they work together but I wish them all the best and they seem very happy.

I went out with Sarah yesterday and I had a good time (I'm not too sure if she did, but I hope so!...). Soccer got cancelled last minute and so we had to try and kill the whole afternoon in the city which we did by going to the museum (dead things are cool) and going to see XMen 3 (and yes, we did stay for the extra scene). There was a bit of a fiasco regarding dinner and a poshed up fish and chip shop but in the end we arrived at bowling fed and watered. And then we waited. And waited. And finally Kat and Mike turned up and we could start our games. Things slowed down for a bit when us girls started looking at photo's from the trip but eventually we managed to finish the games.

Today I have planned a hike up around Mundaring Weir but it all depends on if I can convince Christian it's still a good idea. He's not a biggie for walking places (he just doesn't see the point - if he wants some exercise he prefers to play a sport) but I'm sure I can guilt-trip him into it somehow!

Wish me luck girls! If we go I'll take some pics to show you!

Photos of trip!

Ok, I thought I'd post a few of my favourite pics from our little adventure.

'The line'. Need I say anything else?

I really like this one taken of Boo and I at the ruins at the base of the Big Hill

Not the clearest of pics as I borrowed it from Tru's album but it shows how damn windy it was atop the Big Hill!

Poor Alex, looking jet lagged, bemused and slightly scared after spending his first hour with us.

I just think this is such a Reservoir Dogs walk! Don't they look tough!

I've said it before and I'll say it again, Matt is a real sweetie for putting up with me! Who else would don a tiara and get out of bed especially to give me cuddles?

Smerk and Alex before the radio interview. We had trouble keeping a straight face the whole way through it!

Tru, dressed to kill, or at least to inflict serious heartbreaking injuries.

And finally, I suppose I should post this one of my attempts to dress 'goth-like'. I believe I failed miserably and ended up looking more like a 1920's harlot.

Ok, that's about it for now. I've got more I can post later but my fingers are frozen stiff and it's hard to hit the 'upload' button!

When No means 'No, I do not want another piece of fucking cake!'

Ok guys, Mum and I came home five days early from our trip as it was one disaster after another and I had just had enough.
The day I left Edinburgh I had started to get a sore throat and I just got sicker and sicker as the days passed, making me feel miserable enough as it was without the numerous other incidents that occurred along the way.

We arrived in London Monday afternoon and Mum astounded me once again with her complete lack of direction, getting us lost on the way to Buckingham Palace (in fact we ended up about as far away as you could get from the palace without actually leaving London) which was very convenient as it started raining, heavily the moment we got into town.
The next morning we took a tour on one of those open topped buses which started out fine, albeit cold and we saw the dungeons, Madame Tussauds (sp?) and took a cruise up the Thames. Then it started to rain, again and we got absolutely soaked therefore leading us to the decision to not do the London Ghost walk for fear of hypothermia setting in.

Wednesday morning we set off for Berlin and when we arrived we discovered, after catching a taxi, that our hotel was 4km away from Tegal airport, not the airport we had just flown into. And so a 40 euro taxi ride later we were dropped off in front of the dodgiest hotel ever! And I mean dodgy. Mum and almost ran for it right there and then but we soldiered on and found our room to be not quite as dilapidated as the outside indicated. We went for a quick walk around the immediate area and figured out which trains to catch the next day to get us into the city centre (mum was amazed that I only took 90 seconds to work out the underground system as we have nothing like it in Perth).

The next day however turned out to be a public holiday and the whole city shut down. We had one full day in Berlin and we couldn't do much at all to explore. We caught a crappy bus tour that just pointed out the sights and then we went to the zoo and aquarium. I was rather shocked to see that they still keep lions etc in concrete cells as I'm used to Perth zoo which is world renowned for it's conservation and habitat-simulating methods. It was rather depressing all in all. We then walked up to Checkpoint Charlie and then headed back to the hotel where I proceeded to finish re-reading Hippo and started again on MoH. Oh and I also stood up too close to the radiator in the bathroom and now have a nasty bruise on my shoulder blade which hurts like all hell.

Berlin was rather disappointing to tell the truth. I was told by my cousin that there's heaps of old buildings, which I adore, but I found that not to be the case at all. As it was so heavily bombed during the war and then rebuilt, most of the buildings are quite modern and ugly. Plus the people there are awfully unfriendly.

Anyway from there we headed to Frankfurt where my second cousin and great aunt picked us up and took us to Biblis, a quaint little town near Heppenheim made all the more lovely by the nuclear power plant half a kilometre from the town centre. Obviously 'Chernobyl' doesn't translate!

This is where most of my troubles started. I was still sick with a cold, my asthma was playing up because of all the goddamn cigarette smoke in Germany and only my second cousin spoke a splattering of English. I am a social creature and found it really hard to cope trying to communicate with a few words and gestures. Most of our conversations revolved around the weather and simple concepts like 'what a pretty butterfly'. Plus there's the fact that I was missing Christian terribly by this stage and hadn't had a cuddle since I'd left Edinburgh.

Now, one thing I've learnt about the German's (or maybe it's just my rellies) is that they love to eat. And they want you to eat lots too. You will eat all that you can possibly fit in just to keep them happy but it's not enough. They will then proceed to stitch your arsehole closed and keep on shoving food into your mouth. It's ridiculous. I got so frustrated by having to say over and over 'No thankyou, I'm full. I can't eat any more.' (although it went more like 'Nein danke, I can't eat any more' with lots of gesturing). I seriously started to lose my temper after two meals with them.

That first night I ended up at the hotel in tears and almost hysterical saying I wanted to go home. I think mum was a bit worried about my sanity at that point as we rang Qantas the next morning and changed our flights to Sunday night. The hard part came trying to explain to the rellies why we were running away. Mum ended up just blaming it on me being sick and hoped for the best.

That's pretty much the main reason's why we came home early. Lots of other little things went wrong along the way and it rained every day except for the last day I was in Biblis but I'll leave them for now. I can only fit so much whinging into one entry after all!

I'm home now thankfully and enjoying just being back on familiar ground. I would give anything though to spend another few weeks in Edinburgh, as that was so much fun!

And so it comes to an end...

Well, here I am, sitting at Flora's puter, depressed, not looking forward to tomorrow. Everyone else has departed, and now only my mother and I remain. The last two days have been very sad as one after another, members of our little group have had to say farewell.

I arrived here eleven days ago and straight away I felt like I had always been here (except for the freezing off of my butt constantly). Everyone got on so well together, we were all a bit surprised actually. Sarah is just so sweet but also much naughtier than we were led to believe (which is a good thing!), Flora and Rowenna are just like Barb and I and so I felt very much at home with them, Amber is the pharmaceutical queen who has a drug for every occasion and is just gorgeous, Matt is a big sweetie who never complains about having to give a complete stranger hugs and Alex is just so wonderful. We were all rather scared about meeting Alex as we think of him as 'God' but after the jet lag and sleeping pills wore off he quickly fit in with us and gets my two thumbs up of approval as he let me use his shoulder to slump on constantly.

We have gotten up to so very much and I'll post more in depth later when I get home, complete with photos but Edinburgh is just lovely. We've got so many in jokes and sayings now that I'm sure we'll piss of everyone else in the forum as we just spout out random quotes that we all get but will mean nothing else to the rest of the regulars.

Anyway, that's about it for now. Tomorrow morning will be hard for me as I have to say goodbye, but I'm sure in no time I'll be home again and chatting to everyone on MoH. Plus there's the up side that I'll get to see Sarah fairly soon.

See you all in a couple of weeks.

PS COWS!

I wanna travel on a jet plane, get on board a fast train, far away...and break away.

Just thought I'd post one final time before I leave for bonny Scotland since I don't think I'll really be arsed to post while I'm away. I might, but I doubt it.

I am so excited about my trip but in one way I really don't want to go. It's only been dawning on me in the last day or two that I'll be away from Christian for a whole month. That means that only 11 of the 12 months in this year I'll be spending with him! It's scary as all hell. I keep on grabbing him and hugging the breath out of him in an attempt to store up on hugs before I leave.

*sniff*

I'll miss my beloved Christian so much.

I am excited though, honest! I am very much looking forward to it. Only one day to go!

The Count Down Begins

My philosophy this weekend was to cram as much as I could into three days so the time would fly by and then the day I leave for Scotland would be so much closer!

On Friday after work I met up with a Kat, a girlfriend of mine who works with Christian. We were going to Sexpo, an adults only exhibition being held at the Perth Convention Centre. We didn't really know what to expect as we'd not been before but we were both thinking it wouldn't be as risque as it was made out to be. Upon entering our minds were changed by the topless women handing out brochures. If we got to see boobs within thirty seconds it couldn't be that prudish!

We both had immense fun there. We rode 'The Gerbil', a ghost train with a bit of a difference. Apart from the fact the handlebars were erect dicks, we were bamboozled with scenes of bondage, S&M and golden showers, not the sort of thing you'd find at the Royal Show.

We got to have a feel of all the vibrating goodies at a toy stall and we bought showbags and then headed off to see a strip show and a lingerie parade.

We left to go get some dinner and met up with Christian, Dan and sexy Mike who had been having their own fun at a nerdy Magic tournament. Apparently there had been a geek punch up, however the bloody noses didn't stop the nerds from playing for long and soon all was forgiven.

We headed off for a few games of pool, Kat and I enjoying ourselves immensely as Mike got changed in front of us. Then we all headed back to Kats place until the wee hours of the morning, finally getting home at 4:30 to find two very hungry dogs waiting for us.

Last night we went to a Tarantino Theme party for a friend's 25th. It was a great night but we didn't stay out too long as we were both pretty buggered. After one of the guys demonstrated his fire baton twirling skills we headed off, but not before I remembered to get some pics (I always take my camera but never remember to take any photos). The ones of me and Christian were taken here before we went out but the rest are from the party.

This is me as a very unconvincing vampire

Christian as Mr Pink

Dan as Kevin from Sin City

Mike (not sexy Mike, but still rather hot I reckon) as Seth from Dusk Till Dawn, some random guy I don't know dressed as some character I don't know, and Glenn, dressed as a generic victim from any number of films

Julie, our lovely hostess, dressed as Alabama from True Romance

So, soccer this arvo, last minute packing and shopping for stuff I've forgotten tomorrow, then off to catch up with my sisters before I leave, work on Tuesday and then Wednesday I leave. Yay! See, the time is flying by already!

In a past life, I was Santa.

My most favourite part of Christmas is buying present for everyone. I just love buying stuff for people. I probably don't make the best selections, but as long as I'm having fun, I say 'What does it matter?'.

So when I discovered that it was going to be a whole group of people coming to Scotland, I went into over drive and started shopping. I've bought everyone a little something, I just hope that I haven't gotten then something they will hate. For most of the pressies I shopped at Australian Geographic which is one of my favourite stores but I didn't limit myself to just Australiana, especially for Smerk. Why buy her a stuffed Kangaroo when she can drive past a dead one on the side of the road? (Ok, I apologise, that probably wasn't necessary...).

I just hope I can fit it all into my luggage. I guess there's always my hand luggage though...I'm sure I'll manage :-)

*note to self* If Acci doesn't end up making it, I must remember to get his postal address so I can send his over. Not showing up isn't enough to get out of getting a pressie!

Weddings, parties, anything

My Dad gets married today. I'm rather upset as he chose a spot some 9000 odd miles away and so I couldn't attend. I wish Dad and his new wife Di all the best of luck for their future together.

Another reason to celebrate is that in a week (and a few hours) I will be getting on a plane and heading to Edinburgh where I shall finally meet Boo and a host of other wonderful people. Will the world come to a crashing halt? Only time will tell. However, it is a reason to party, even if it is an end-of-the-world party.

And onto the 'anything' part. I have realised that I have read very few new books lately as I have a tendency to re-read my favourites. So here's a list of books that I have recently devoured with a note next to them on how many times I've read them.

Hippo Eats Dwarf by Alex Boese (once - sorry Alex, I haven't had a chance to read it again as yet. However, I do happen to have a 20 hour flight soon so there will be plenty of time for that then)

Omnibus by Grant Naylor, also known separately as Red Dwarf - Infinity welcomes careful drivers and Better than life (twice)

Polgara the Sorceress by David Eddings (more times than I can remember, at least fifteen but probably more)

Wizards first rule by Terry Goodkind (yet again more times than I can count but I'd guess about ten times)

The Plague Race by Edward Marriott (twice)

Black Maria by Dianna Wynn Jones (five times)

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban by J K Rowling (ummmm, I don't think I'll saw how many times I've read this one as it's kind of embarrassing...)

Assassain's Apprentice Trilogy by Robin Hobb (three times. On a side note, I fell in love with Fool and Nighteyes from this series. Just thought I'd share that with you all)

That's about all I've read in the last six months. I haven't really had a chance to read much lately, which is why, apart from enjoying the stories, that I tend to re-read books. If I get busy, I can put it down without wondering desperately what comes next.

The hills have eyes (and millipedes, and bushfires and snakes...)

I received some bad news on Thursday night that made me rather upset, upset enough to blubber like a baby anyway.
For those of you who don't know, Christian and I are have been house-sitting my mother-in-law's house while she has been travelling, saving a deposit so when she came back we could buy the house. Well the MIL is back but house prices have gone up so dramatically in the past 11 months that we can no longer afford to get this house. We knew that the price would increase, but we thought it would be along the lines of 22%-ish which is the mean across the market. However, our house jumped up 46% and our dream of buying it crashed to the ground rather forcefully.
And now I face the prospect of going house hunting as soon as I step off the plane from my international sleepover. MIL wanted me to start looking before I left but as I only have a week and a half left before I jet off, I said 'fat chance'.
There is little hope that we will be able to buy a home in my beloved hills, leaving only the flats as an option. I've never wanted to live down the hill. It's crowded, the blocks are tiny and the burbs resemble rabbit warrens. However, faced with the prospect of not having any choice, I've started to dwell on the down points of living in the hills and also this house (which I have quite an emotional attachment to now) to make the move a little easier.
To begin with is the large advantage of not having to worry about doing my firebreaks every summer now. This includes cleaning out the gutters every two weeks in winter as there are no where near as many trees in the burbs as opposed to the hills.
Then there's the fact that there are substantially fewer creepy crawlies down the hill, including millipedes.
Added to this is that both Christian and myself will live much closer to work and so we will save tremendous amounts of money on fuel.
I've tried to be very critical about the house and have decided that the following list of points will most definitely not be missed once we move. The fact that most of our house inside is exposed brick which makes it very cold in winter. We only have an open fire that is crap at warming even two feet in front of it, let alone the house and so we won't have to worry about replacing it with a slow-burning combustion fire like we'd planned.
Our kitchen is massive (which is a good point) but that it's decked out in 1970's decore is something that I'm looking forward to saying goodbye too.
Our toilet roll holder keeps on breaking so almost every time you use it it clatters to the ground.
We're not connected to the gas mains up here so we have to have an electric stove and oven as bottled gas to too expensive.
Oh, and did I mention the millipedes?

There you have it. I must keep these points firmly in front of me so I don't gets so upset about having to move. With any luck we'll find a house up this way, but if not, I'll have a running chance at settling in down the hill.

There's no place like home...

Ok, I'll throw this out there right at the beginning of this post so no one is left confused. I am not in any way a believer in premonition or that dreams have meanings. I roll my eyes when my older sister declares that she dreamt of an impending disaster and that we should all avoid visiting a particular place at a particular time. I snort with laughter when people tell me they are a big Nostradamus fan. I mentally restrain myself from making a derisive comment when my mother tells me she drove home from work via a different route because she had a 'feeling'. I may be extremely gullible when it comes to many other subjects, but not with this one.

Now, in my last post, I mentioned that I had been having nightmares lately. One of my nightmares was about tornadoes. This is a recurring bad dream, I have them rather often and I always wake up terrified. Now, my older sister is fascinated by these monsters. She loves watching documentaries about tornadoes, knows pretty much all there is to know about them and is scarily close to wanting to move to the US just to be closer to them (I've suggested on numerous occasions that she should actually speak to someone who has lost their home or loved one to a tornado before making the big move).

I was speaking to Mum about these dreams and how it's funny that Jo is fascinated while I can't sleep properly due to them (although I must admit I am rather fascinated too...). Mum enlightened me that my younger sister Barb is terrified too. And so I ended up speaking to Barb about our fear and of my nightmares.

This is going somewhere, I promise.

Anyhow, I was telling Barb about the dreams I had had, but the one that keeps recurring is one where I am driving along Roe highway, just out of Midland and there is a tornado coming towards me from west. Barb butts in and exclaims that she has had exactly the same dream many a time and that we couldn't both have been dreaming about the same thing. It wasn't that I recounted my dream and she said it was the same - she was literally finishing my sentences describing the dream. When we stopped and thought about it, this has happened before.

A year or two back, I had phoned Barb one morning and she commented that I sounded rather tired. I said that yes, I was, I'd been up half the night after having some really weird dreams. Not scary dreams or nightmares, but just odd dreams. She said that she had been too and asked what I had been dreaming about. I told her that I had been dreaming about being back in primary school but I left out the bit about me spending most of the dream in one of the toilet blocks as I thought that was just too weird. She goes 'Oh, I had a dream about being back in primary school too. But I was in the toilet block by the music room'. Exactly where I had been in my dream.

Now, I just think that that's just darned weird. Why on earth would my sister and I be having the exact same dreams, not only once, but twice (that we know about anyway)? I know we're close, she's my best friend and she married my husbands best friend, but surely we're not that close. The only thing that could make this any weirder is if Flora tells me she's dreamed about being in the toilets at my old primary school.

Nettie's Dream Diary

It's been an interesting week for me, not all of it good, but most of it has been great, so I'll start with the good stuff and bore you with the bad stuff at the end.

Good: On Thursday is was the ten year anniversary of the day Christian and I started dating.
We were in high school and had friends in common but had never actually had a class together and so didn't know anything about each other apart from names. I was having a party and asked Mike (my now brother-in-law) if he'd bring along some of his mates to even up the boy/girl odds. He brought Christian and two weeks later we started going out. The rest is history!

We went out for dinner after work on Thursday, to a restaurant called The Olive Tree which is in West Perth (just in case anyone is ever in Perth and looking for a place to eat) and had the best time. We had our wedding reception there and they are just the nicest people. They even made up special meals for Christian so he wouldn't be too full when he played soccer later on (he ended up having a very nancy meal if you ask me - salad, vegetarian filo parcel and fruit salad compared to my ravioli, fish and apple crumble!).
Afterwards, if you haven't already guessed, Christian had a soccer game and so I got to be thoroughly entertained there (is perving on other blokes on your anniversary considered bad taste? Even if I'm also perving on my hubby?). The guys lost but it was a really close game and it was only because of a dubious umpiring call that the other team had a shot at goal (they weren't getting anywhere near the thing on their skill alone).

Good: Last weekend I spoke to Chary for the first time. We did it over an msn chat and apart from being a little crackly at times due to a slow connection, it was really good. We didn't speak for as long as Flora and I usually do, but it was rather late for Chary and he did have to work the next morning. The best part about this is that I now feel like I 'know' another person who I'll be seeing in May. I'm a bit odd in that way. I can chat to someone for hours on the net but I feel like I know them better after an hour long phone conversation.

Good: It's not only two and a half weeks till I fly out for Scotland! (well two weeks, five days to be exact but why split hairs?)

Bad: I've been having nightmares all this week. They have all happened in the morning after Christian has left for work and I have an hour and a bit left to sleep in. I think it's because of the interrupted sleep but I'm not too sure. They have all been different but in all of them, I've felt completely powerless to stop whats going on. After I've woken up and had time to make my brain work, they seem very silly but at the time they really do frighten me.
In one, I couldn't stop my nephew Caleb from running onto the road, in another I was trying to hide from Reavers (those of you who know Firefly and Serenity will know what I'm on about), and this morning I had an awful one about tornadoes (which is a recurring one. I'm terrified of the things even though we've never had a really big one in Australia).
Mum thinks I'm working out anxiety about my trip away because I feel so helpless in my dreams. I really couldn't say what's causing them but I hope they stop soon because they're leaving me feeling exhausted.

Happy Easter Everyone!

Even though it doesn't feel like it at all, happy Easter everyone!

Now, who wants to play a game? I don't have any spare eggs laying around (they're all MINE!) so we can't have an egg hunt, but I have a different game we can play. How bout we all play 'Doctors and Nurses'?

It's really easy to play. I'll give you a list of symptoms and you try and guess what caused them. Then afterwards I'll be available for a full examination if anyone is interested ;-)

Symptoms include: tender ear lobes
hoarse voice
sore buttocks
hyperactivity

Now all of you who guessed a night on the town with a drunk, cross dressing stripper from Peru, would be wrong.

Those of you who guessed a five hour, ten minute, world record breaking phone conversation with Flora, you'd be right.

It just really goes to prove that none of you are going to be able to get a word in edge ways with us in just under four weeks time. We will talk you all under the table and still have stuff to talk about. There should be a warning on your airline tickets that reminds you to bring some earplugs.

But enough about you lot! Boo and I had an absolute ball last night and I really just can't wait to meet her! We laughed so hard which caused some problems as Boo tends to get a sharp pain in the back of her skull when she laughs too hard so it sounded much like this: Ahahahahahah ow ow it hurts, it hurts ahahahahahah ow ow ahahahahahaha ow ow ahahahaha.
We were in fits if giggles bad enough that at times we couldn't even speak. Mention the phrase 'engorged vaginal canal' to either of us in Scotland, and you'll see what I mean.

But eventually the conversation had to end. If we could have, I'm sure we would have both stayed on the phone for the next few weeks, only saying goodbye when I had to catch my plane, but it just wasn't really viable. *sigh*

Anyway, you have been warned. We wouldn't want any of you to be ignorant of just exactly what you're in for come May.

Have a lovely Easter everyone
*hugs*

P.S. Flora, Mr Finger sends his warmest greetings!

Interesting shower reading

Whilst soaking under a hot shower this morning, I happened to read the ingredient list on my body wash and my face wash. It read like a very long, hard to pronounce shopping list.

Body Wash: Water, Sodium Laureth Sulfate, Cocamidopropyl Bataine, Glycol Stearate, Propylene Glycol (and) Sambucus Nigra Flower Extract (and) Primula Veris Extract (and) Chamomilla Recutita (Matricaria) Extract (and)Helianthus Annuus (Sunflower) extractVanilla PLanifolia Fruit Extract, Retinyl Palmitate, Tocopheryl Acetate, Hydroxypropyl Guar Hydroxypropyl Trimonium Chloride, Isostearamidopropyl Morpholine Lactate, Hyroxopropyl Methylcellulose, DMDM Hydantoin, Citric Acid, Disodium EDTA, Sodium Chloride, Fragrance, Yellow 5, Yellow 6.

I bet your eyes glazed over once you reached 'water' eh? Well, here we go again.

Face Wash: Water, Sodium Laureth Sulfate, Cocamidopropyl, Betaine, Ammonium Lauryl Sulfate Cocamide Dea, Glycol Distearate (and) Sodium Laureth Sulfate (haven't they already mentioned this one???) (and) Cocamide Mea (and)Laureth-10, Polyquarternium 7, Fragrance, Methychloroisothiazolinone (Is this one of the longest words in the world?) (and) Methylisothiazolinone, Citric Acid, Sodium Chloride.

Makes me have second thoughts about using such concoctions...

Libra Wisdom - take 2

As promised, I bring you more tidbits of trivia from our friends in feminine hygiene.

Odd Spot #37: The names of all the continents end with the same letter they start with.

Odd Spot #95: The word 'lethologica' describes the state of not being able to rememeber the word you want.

Odd Spot #22: If the population of China walked past you in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

Odd Spot #141: There are three golf balls sitting on the moon.

Odd Spot #152: In a study of 200,000 ostriches over a period of 80 years, no one reported a single case where an ostrich buried it's head in the sand.

Odd Spot # 102: Bulletproof vests, fire escapes, laser printers and windshield wipers were all invented by women.

Odd Spot #: The average human body contains enough sulphur to kill all the fleas on an average dog.

Odd Spot #80: The youngest pope was eleven years old.

Odd Spot #153: The average human body contains enough iron to make a 7.62cm nail.

Odd Spot #4: The most common non-contagious disease in the world is tooth decay.

Odd Spot #8: Grapes explode when you put them in the microwave

There you have it. More utterly useless information that you can use to bring conversation to a complete halt at your next dinner party.

The Ultimate Heartbreak

Most of you will know by now that Christian and I are trying for a baby. What most of you didn't know was that for almost two weeks now, there was a bloody good chance I was pregnant.

It started with my period being late. I've not ever had cause for my periods being late before but I waited it out a little. Then I started feeling a bit sick every now and then and rushing to the loo at lot. So I did a test. Negative. No worries, it's early days yet and not everyone does a positive test in the first few weeks.

Fast forward to this week and my monthlies still hadn't arrived and my hopes started rising. Add to this that I had been so tired that I could hardly stay awake past 8pm and everyone I spoke too assured me I would be popping out a mini-me by Christmas.

So I did another test yesterday. I have never been so nervous in my life. I had butterflies in my stomach and I was almost giddy with excitement. I had let everyone talk me into getting excited. Against my better judgement, I was convinced I was pregnant.

When that second damn line failed to show, I felt sick. There had to be some mistake. My period was two weeks late. How could I not be pregnant? All the signs were there, what was I missing?

I was so upset. I bawled like the baby I so desperately want and wallowed in my own misery. To make matters worse, early this morning my period started, snuffing out the last flicker of hope I had left. I guess I should look at the positives - that I won't have to deal with throwing up every five minutes on the plane to Scotland for one, having another 'Libra wisdom' post for another.

And so next month begins and we'll try again. However, this time I will not get excited until I have two bloody lines show up on that stupid little pee test.