Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Robin Hood

Honestly, I'm beginning to think I should rename this blog from 'The Natterings of Nettie' to 'Christian and Nettie's Txting History' since all I seem to do lately is posts about conversations we have during the day. Then again, at least I'm posting, yes?

C - I's thinking of getting the Razr on the staff plan. It's not a contract so I can change if the plan isn't any good and the phone will only cost me $240 all up.

Me - Cool :)

C - I'm technically not eligible but I don't think anyone will check and if they do I'll just play dumb.

Me - You are a master criminal and I love you for it xxx

C - I'm like Robin Hood. Rich = insert 'Big Corperate Phone Company Christian Works For'and poor = me

C -Pretty sure they'll write folk tales about me in a few hundred years.

Me - They'll sing about your exploits whilst carousing around a camp fire in the middle of the woods.

C - Probably won't have woods in a few hundred years. Or fires for that matter.

Me - True. So they shall sing about your exploits whilst carousing around a nuclear reactor in a barren wasteland.

C - Much better.

Me - Pity there's not a beautiful Maid Marrion to go with the story :(

C - You could dye your hair red and be Will Scarlet, or learn to play the lute and be Allan a Dale?

C - Or maybe just  beautiful wench Marion? Bit too late for you to be a maid sorry.

Me - You only just saved your arse with that one :P

C - :D

Me - Though if you want me to be Will Scarlet I can buy a wig and a strap on...

C - Hmmm, that's the best offer I've had today so far!

Thursday, January 03, 2013

Cancer of the anus

Been a while hasn't it? Figured I should post before you forget about me and I die a lonely loner, on a lonely road, alone...

Did everyone have a good new year? I did, it was a fun, nerdy evening on New Years Eve, then I pretty much slept all of New Years Day and then the trouble started the following day at work. Had an absolute shit of a day and this txt conversation with the boy followed towards the end of it, after much bitching to him about all the bullshit.

NB - Handy to know is that I am a Leo and Christian is a Cancer according to astrologists.

Me - One of the nurses told me I'm having a crap day because the moon is in Leo and so Leos are in the limelight...:/

C - Fuck you moon! Fuck you and your limelight!

Me - Careful, Cancer is in Uranus, if it sees you fucking the moon it might get jealous.

C - Cancer in my anus? Is she an astrologist or a proctologist?

Me - She's a quack as well as an astrologist...

The following conversation occurred this morning.

Me - How's that cancer of the anus going?

C - Turns out it was nothing. Turns out!

Me - I always thought Uranus and Your Anus were the same thing. Turns out, they're not. TURNS OUT! (For those of you who haven't seen the latest Bill Bailey show, the 'turns out' business will just confuse you. I assure you that it's actually very funny.)

C - (digressing slightly) I hate how the internet is all like 'Look out Aus! There's a heat wave coming!'. Fuck you aresholes, Aus is more than just Sydney ad Melbourne.

Me -Where was our sympathy last week???

C - What's that Perth? Sorry I can't hear you over here on the east coast because my head is so far up my own arse.

Me - They better be careful, they might catch cancer of the anus...

And on the juvenile note I shall leave it at that. I gave you a post, I didn't say anything about it being an intelligent, mature post...