Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Cold Turkey

I am going mad without my Internet.
It's only been about three days but I am finding already that I am feeling lost in the evenings, have nothing to do after dinner and eat breakfast at the table instead of in front of my computer.
I cannot wait until our adsl gets connected at the new house! Seeing as I'm currently at our old house doing a load of washing and it's not disconnected here as yet (hence the post), I feel it may be a while before I am blessed with its presence.

Anyway, life in my new area is...interesting. Let me tell you a story.

I like stories.

Yesterday Christian was doing some training after work and was going to be home at about 7pm. I had been watering the garden when I heard a band start playing in the park opposite us. I was listening as I was pottering and they sounded really good. I finished up my watering and found it was quarter to eight and I had a message on my phone from Christian saying he'd still be another half hour or so. So I thought 'Well, I might just have a mosey on over and check out the band'.
I wondered over to the park and found three young guys playing and figured they must be a young band being sponsored as part of a youth festival of some sort (there's been a few festival type things in my area lately). I sat down at the top of the amphitheatre and soon a woman came over to me, asking if she could sit next to me as she had been sitting on an ants nest. I didn't particularly mind and so said of course she could. She looks at me and says in a high pitched, over-enthusiastic voice 'Hi, I'm Sheena! How are you??? Do you live near here?' I explained we'd just moved in across the street and had heard the band and thought I'd come check it out as they sounded good. 'They're wonderful, aren't they!? I can't believe they're so good, for ones so young!'

Oh God, I thought. I bet this is a 'pageant' mother - one of those crazy obsessive mothers of children with some kind of talent. I thought I'd be stuck listening to her all night rattle on and on and on and on about how good her son was and about which instrument he played and how he'd be the next Mozart or Lennon.
I nodded politely and listened a bit more until the song came top an end. Then one of the guys starts talking. 'Yeah, thanks so much, glad you could make it tonight. That song was called Depression and if any of you suffer from depression or know anyone who does, then we're here tonight to help you find a cure.'

Oh, they must be sponsored by the Health Department, thought I.

'Depression is a scary thing, but there's one thing that can cure it. Jesus Christ'

Jesus Christ, they're religious loons! I had stumbled upon a gathering! Sheena then proceeded to inform me that they were part of a Christian community that went from park to park, spreading the word. I stayed for the next song as I didn't want to be rude and then they called upon people from the audience to give their testimonies. After hearing from an ex-narcotics dealer, who one fateful night stumbled upon the bodies of five car crash victims I figured it was my time to go. I made my apologies and hurried home, eager to be away from Sheena before she tried to convert me.

When I got home I discovered that Christian had arrived and my mother was frantic as she had rung and was told that no, Annette isn't home, yes her car is here, the house is locked but no, she hasn't left a note. According to mother, anything could have happened, I could have had an asthma attack and been rushed to hospital, I could have fallen and broken a leg, I could have been raped and pillaged, the fiery depths of hell could have swallowed me up, yadda yadda yadda. I have now discovered that even at 27, I must always inform mother of my whereabouts.

Later that night I was saying to Christian that I sometimes envy people with faith. I have no desire to join Sheena and her cohorts, but I find that people with faith seem to have a purpose in life and are always happy. Christian gave a snort of his cynical, derisive laughter and asked if I was going to try to make my way to heaven one day. I said that after what I've done in my life (and what I planned to do in Edinburgh but failed to accomplish entirely) I doubt the church would have me. I'm sure I shall burn merrily away in hell with Boo, Ro and the gang and just as sure that we'll have much more fun than all the goodie two shoes who end up in heaven giving angels blowjobs. Christian asked if he would also join me in hell and I informed him that as he doesn't believe in an afterlife, he will just dissolve into nothingness and cease to exist entirely. After all, you have to believe in hell to end up there. I ranted on a bit more about heaven and hell and sin and the afterlife and now Christian thinks I should write my own bible as it might actually entice him into attending church, and if not, it would at least be an enjoyable read.

And so I shall one day throw open the doors of The Church of Nettie and welcome thee, my fellow disciples.

Monday, January 22, 2007

30 reasons NOT to celebrate...

My older sister Jo turned 30 yesterday.
Happy Birthday Jo.
On Saturday night we went out to celebrate the occasion, going to The Olive Tree Restaurant, a lovely little place in West Perth which just happens to be where we went for our wedding reception. Christian and I love it so much that we usually go there for dinner on our anniversary too.
Jo and her partner Bo went, along with Barb and Mike, Christian and myself and a few of Jo's friends - Nat and Kelly and their partners.
The evening started out well enough, we were given a private table in the back room which was great as the restaurant was packed and we were a large party. We weren't completely separated from everyone else but it meant we didn't have people pushing past us every five seconds to go to the loo.
And then it started. 'It' being Jo's friends and they're complete lack of civilised behaviour. They heckled the waiters, complained about every little thing, swore at the top of their lungs, make racist comments so everyone dining there could hear, and were so loud I thought my eardrums would burst.
I have never been so embarrassed in my life.
As soon as it was politely possible Christian and myself fled, along with Barb and Mike. Jo went on to some clubs with her friends and her evening didn't turn out well at all with problems arising between a couple of her friends. I just hope that her actual birthday turned out a little better yesterday.

Anyway, here are a couple of pics from the beginning of the night.

Me and Christian. Ro, I'm wearing the jewelery you sent me!

Barb and Mike

The birthday girl and her partner Bo

Thursday, January 18, 2007

How can anyone be THAT stupid???

We received a fraud alert at work the other day stating that an organisation known as 'The Independent Sovereign State of Australia' had been issuing currency and cheques that were being mistaken as legal tender. Attached to this memo was a scan of the notes and cheques that had been accepted.

They looked nothing like our currency!

I have phenomenal trouble understanding how someone who works in a bank would fail to recognise fake currency when they see it. It's like someone who works at Maccas making a whopper by mistake. It just aint gonna happen people!

Sometimes I truly worry about the future of mankind.

Monday, January 15, 2007

Farewell Daddy


My Daddy left yesterday. I'm very, very sad.

Actually, inconsolable would be more fitting. I'm terrible with goodbyes and get rather emotional (which was news to my Dad - he was shocked I was bawling).
I didn't even attempt to go to the airport. He was leaving at 3am, which was too late considering I couldn't get today off work, but even if I did get the time off, I would have caused a scene...I thought it best to just say our goodbyes last night.
We spent all of yesterday together though, doing stuff around our new house like finishing the gate and putting a cupboard up in the laundry. My sister's came over with their kids as well to say goodbye to their Poppy and so it was a real family affair.
Christian and I left about 8:30pm and it was to great dismay that I realised we had both driven down and I would have to drive home. I have had some experience with driving whilst crying in the past so I managed to get home in one piece.

I thought I would be ok today, but I was proved wrong. I get rather depressed after the whole goodbye thing (just ask my mother, she was driven mad by me moping about after I left Edinburgh) and so work was an unhappy affair. I was in tears in the morning, gloomy all day and had such a lack of concentration I had a $100 error. So all in all, not one of my better days.

All clouds have a silver lining though, even this one. We will be moving into our house shortly, hopefully in the next couple of weeks. We still have a bit of painting to do, mostly fiddly stuff like door frames and the toilet but it should be all finished up soon and then we can begin the arduous task of packing and moving. That should be fun, considering we have such a long way to lug all of our crap. I dread to think how many trips it will take us. So, not so much of a silver lining after all...

Saturday, January 06, 2007

Product Endorsement

'Today's blog entry comes to you thanks to our good friends at Nutterchow, the dogfood that keeps your pet on their toes. Nutterchow will keep your dogs' coat shiny and tangle free, their teeth will last them years more and best of all, Nutterchow will help keep your pet sane. No more crazy antics from Spot, he'll sit in the corner with a slightly dazed expression until called, he won't keep the neighbours awake at night barking and best of all he won't chew your possessions, all thanks to the brain-altering chemicals found in Nutterchow.
Nutterchow - valium for dogs. Try it today.'*

* My dogs get fed with Nutterchow and we couldn't be happier. We get a constant supply from my mother who works in the local hospitals' mental health unit. Any food left over from the patients dinners get placed into a bucket before being packaged in Nutterchows distinct white platic bag packaging. Nutterchow is delivered to our door free of charge and can be conveniently frozen for storage. We love that our dogs get a variety of foods, it's always a surprise. I'd fully recommend Nutterchow to anyone.

Friday, January 05, 2007

Burning Question

I lay awake last night, pondering this.*

When someone hot wires a car, how do they then turn it off again?

I thought they would have to deliberately stall the car, but this wouldn't turn off the ancillary ignition mode. The radio and headlights would still be switched on, which would drain the battery. And we all know (thanks to the wonder of Hollywood) that bandits like to stop off at diners for a refreshing meal, a coffee and a driver change. It's in their best interests not to allow the battery to go dead.

So, answer me this, how do they turn off the car without the keys?

* I am not considering a more lucrative career as a professional car theif, it's just one of those odd things that pop into my head from time to time.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

All that gaff

Happy New Year everyone.

Ok, now that I've gotten that out of the way...

How is everyone? Good I hope. If you're not good, you can join my little club. I think I'll call it Nettie's Feel Like Shit And Sit Around Feeling Sorry For Yourself Support Group.
As you may have guessed, I am still not well. I went to the doctor today for my monthly injections and they wouldn't do it because my asthma is too bad. Apparently not being able to breathe beforehand can lead to a greater risk of not being able to breathe after the injections. Go figure.
I did come away with some antibiotics since the Pred didn't work and a stronger dose preventative although for some strange reason I turned down a doctors certificate. No idea why. My doctor told me I looked like crap and asked if I'd like to take some time of work and I said no. Apparently my brain can't handle being off work. I mumbled something about already having had one day off work and all I'd do is sit around feeling guilty and that was about it.
I believe I should be nominated for Idiot of the Year or something along those lines.

So, did you get up to anything good at all on New Years Eve? I probably shouldn't bother asking Boo and Mouse as I heard the festivities got cancelled in Edinburgh due to bad weather. But what about everyone else?
I had a relatively quite night at Christian's Aunty's house. His cousins had been visiting from over east and from New Zealand and it was the last night we'd see them before they flew home so it was a nice chance to say goodbye. We had fish and chips for dinner and then sat around chatting until midnight when we proceeded to act like children with sparklers and poppers. Fun all round I must say.

Oh, and then the next morning I went to visit my sister Jo and she has a new puppy! Her name is Shiver and she's very cute. I shall have to remember to post a pic when I upload them.
And that's about it for now.