Monday, June 30, 2008

I hate me.

I don't know what is happening to me but it seems like I'm falling apart at the seams.

I've been in tears several times over the past two weeks, I feel removed from everyone else, I absolutely hate myself, I feel fat, ugly and useless, no matter what I do I just can't seem to lose weight, I'm still not pregnant.

I'm ringing today to make that appointment with the psychologist. Maybe that'll help.

Sorry to post such a self loathing piece of crap.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Clip Lock Disaster

I'm not exactly a handy-type of person. My brain just doesn't work well in a puzzle solving capacity and so I've never been into making things and fixing things around the house.

So why on earth would I go out and buy a ready-to-assemble bookcase with the sole intent of putting it together myself???

Fucked if I know. But I did.

And it was an absolute disaster.

I wanted a shelving unit to put in the study so I can put my files and globe and other random junk on so I could clear off the desk and set up the printer/scanner/copier we got from my Dad but have never used. So when I saw a five tier bookcase on sale at K-Mart I thought 'Perfect! That will be a great fit.'
And so after work today I went out and bought it and then when I came home I was confident I could have it put together and in place all before Christian got home from soccer.

I started out fine, checked that I had all the pieces and figured out the general concept. The instructions were mainly illustration based and so I went along, having to backtrack after a while when I realised I'd forgotten to lock in some of the screws (it's all this clip lock technology which boasts that no tools are required. Apparently a brain is though...oops).

I got almost to the end and found that it was asking me for a part that I just didn't have. I searched all over, became slightly frantic and then finally I despaired and figured I'd plow onwards anyway. Turns out, the instructions mislabelled that part and I actually had the part I needed but it was called something else. So I was a little frazzled and in that state I kind of overlooked a tiny detail at that point which led me to clipping in most of the remaining screws without actually attaching the backing...

So what? Who needs a back on it anyway? I only want it as shelving, not an actual bookcase. It'll be fine!

I went to stand it up and then discovered another mistake. I'd put the shelves in the wrong way around and so they were upside down. For the wooden looking parts to be facing up and not the chipboard bits I would have to turn the entire bookcase upside down.

So Christian comes home, finds me in a very grumpy state because I have a very ricketty bookcase that is upside down, back to front and backless.

Needless to say he's going to fix it for me on the weekend. And I have been forbidden to ever attempt ready-to-assemble furniture ever again,

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Back from the dead.

Well, my computer is anyway!
It kind of died a little while back and so Christian had a looksie at it. Even though we keep our anti-virus software pretty much up to date, my poor baby was awash with viruses. For a while there it looked like she wouldn't make it but Doc Christian pulled off a miracle and she lives to tell another tale!

So what's new? Um, let me see. I've started my new hours at work this week, yay! I've dropped down to fifteen hours a week over three days to try and get my stress levels down. I walked into work on Monday after having slept in till half seven, done the dishes, headed to the gym and then gotten across to Medicare to finally cash in my rebates that have been sitting there since Christmas. Considering I only had a measly five hours to work it was no wonder I had a huge grin on my face.
I have already said yes to some extra hours because no matter how much more I relax I can't deny the fact that we won't have nearly as much money coming in now. So I'm doing an extra shift next week and over the school holidays I'll be working everyday. But I can live with that.

I haven't updated my Nettie Challenge blog for a while, I'm so naughty. I'll get an update done on Saturday when I have my weigh in although I'm not expecting any miracles there. The few weeks I didn't have a computer meant no online calorie counter either and I must admit that I was no where near as strict as I should have been. I didn't really put any weight on but I didn't lose any either. I've been very good this past week with lots of exercise and so forth so we'll see how I go.

The only other thing that's really of any interest kind of relates back to the last paragraph anyway. I've been going on some really nice hikes lately and I've found that to be really relaxing as well as strenuous...if that makes any sense! It's hard work and is a great form of exercise but at the same time I really enjoy it and am finding it really relaxing to be in the middle of the bush just enjoying the scenery. There's been two that I'm going to try and do regularly. One of them is an 8km loop trail that goes past the place where we went camping and then comes out above the weir. The last 5kms are very tough, there's a lot of ups and downs but also some great views.
The second hike starts at Rocky Pools at the bottom of 'the hill' (Greenmount) and winds it's way along Jane Brook and you eventually end up at the water fall at John Forrest National Park and then we follow the Heritage Trail back down the hill. It's very bush-walky in that the trail on the way up is almost non existent, very narrow and there's lots of climbing up rock faces and trying not to fall on your arse on the way down but it's cool in the fact that you're climbing up the side of a mountain (albeit not a very big one but they are technically mountain ranges) without really realising it.

Both of these hikes have such gorgeous scenery so I really hope that Boo and Mouse bring their walking shoes with them when they come because I really think that it's a great way to see the natural Aussie bush. In the meantime however I'll try and lug my camera along for the next one and get pics for you all.