When No means 'No, I do not want another piece of fucking cake!'

Ok guys, Mum and I came home five days early from our trip as it was one disaster after another and I had just had enough.
The day I left Edinburgh I had started to get a sore throat and I just got sicker and sicker as the days passed, making me feel miserable enough as it was without the numerous other incidents that occurred along the way.

We arrived in London Monday afternoon and Mum astounded me once again with her complete lack of direction, getting us lost on the way to Buckingham Palace (in fact we ended up about as far away as you could get from the palace without actually leaving London) which was very convenient as it started raining, heavily the moment we got into town.
The next morning we took a tour on one of those open topped buses which started out fine, albeit cold and we saw the dungeons, Madame Tussauds (sp?) and took a cruise up the Thames. Then it started to rain, again and we got absolutely soaked therefore leading us to the decision to not do the London Ghost walk for fear of hypothermia setting in.

Wednesday morning we set off for Berlin and when we arrived we discovered, after catching a taxi, that our hotel was 4km away from Tegal airport, not the airport we had just flown into. And so a 40 euro taxi ride later we were dropped off in front of the dodgiest hotel ever! And I mean dodgy. Mum and almost ran for it right there and then but we soldiered on and found our room to be not quite as dilapidated as the outside indicated. We went for a quick walk around the immediate area and figured out which trains to catch the next day to get us into the city centre (mum was amazed that I only took 90 seconds to work out the underground system as we have nothing like it in Perth).

The next day however turned out to be a public holiday and the whole city shut down. We had one full day in Berlin and we couldn't do much at all to explore. We caught a crappy bus tour that just pointed out the sights and then we went to the zoo and aquarium. I was rather shocked to see that they still keep lions etc in concrete cells as I'm used to Perth zoo which is world renowned for it's conservation and habitat-simulating methods. It was rather depressing all in all. We then walked up to Checkpoint Charlie and then headed back to the hotel where I proceeded to finish re-reading Hippo and started again on MoH. Oh and I also stood up too close to the radiator in the bathroom and now have a nasty bruise on my shoulder blade which hurts like all hell.

Berlin was rather disappointing to tell the truth. I was told by my cousin that there's heaps of old buildings, which I adore, but I found that not to be the case at all. As it was so heavily bombed during the war and then rebuilt, most of the buildings are quite modern and ugly. Plus the people there are awfully unfriendly.

Anyway from there we headed to Frankfurt where my second cousin and great aunt picked us up and took us to Biblis, a quaint little town near Heppenheim made all the more lovely by the nuclear power plant half a kilometre from the town centre. Obviously 'Chernobyl' doesn't translate!

This is where most of my troubles started. I was still sick with a cold, my asthma was playing up because of all the goddamn cigarette smoke in Germany and only my second cousin spoke a splattering of English. I am a social creature and found it really hard to cope trying to communicate with a few words and gestures. Most of our conversations revolved around the weather and simple concepts like 'what a pretty butterfly'. Plus there's the fact that I was missing Christian terribly by this stage and hadn't had a cuddle since I'd left Edinburgh.

Now, one thing I've learnt about the German's (or maybe it's just my rellies) is that they love to eat. And they want you to eat lots too. You will eat all that you can possibly fit in just to keep them happy but it's not enough. They will then proceed to stitch your arsehole closed and keep on shoving food into your mouth. It's ridiculous. I got so frustrated by having to say over and over 'No thankyou, I'm full. I can't eat any more.' (although it went more like 'Nein danke, I can't eat any more' with lots of gesturing). I seriously started to lose my temper after two meals with them.

That first night I ended up at the hotel in tears and almost hysterical saying I wanted to go home. I think mum was a bit worried about my sanity at that point as we rang Qantas the next morning and changed our flights to Sunday night. The hard part came trying to explain to the rellies why we were running away. Mum ended up just blaming it on me being sick and hoped for the best.

That's pretty much the main reason's why we came home early. Lots of other little things went wrong along the way and it rained every day except for the last day I was in Biblis but I'll leave them for now. I can only fit so much whinging into one entry after all!

I'm home now thankfully and enjoying just being back on familiar ground. I would give anything though to spend another few weeks in Edinburgh, as that was so much fun!

And so it comes to an end...

Well, here I am, sitting at Flora's puter, depressed, not looking forward to tomorrow. Everyone else has departed, and now only my mother and I remain. The last two days have been very sad as one after another, members of our little group have had to say farewell.

I arrived here eleven days ago and straight away I felt like I had always been here (except for the freezing off of my butt constantly). Everyone got on so well together, we were all a bit surprised actually. Sarah is just so sweet but also much naughtier than we were led to believe (which is a good thing!), Flora and Rowenna are just like Barb and I and so I felt very much at home with them, Amber is the pharmaceutical queen who has a drug for every occasion and is just gorgeous, Matt is a big sweetie who never complains about having to give a complete stranger hugs and Alex is just so wonderful. We were all rather scared about meeting Alex as we think of him as 'God' but after the jet lag and sleeping pills wore off he quickly fit in with us and gets my two thumbs up of approval as he let me use his shoulder to slump on constantly.

We have gotten up to so very much and I'll post more in depth later when I get home, complete with photos but Edinburgh is just lovely. We've got so many in jokes and sayings now that I'm sure we'll piss of everyone else in the forum as we just spout out random quotes that we all get but will mean nothing else to the rest of the regulars.

Anyway, that's about it for now. Tomorrow morning will be hard for me as I have to say goodbye, but I'm sure in no time I'll be home again and chatting to everyone on MoH. Plus there's the up side that I'll get to see Sarah fairly soon.

See you all in a couple of weeks.

PS COWS!

I wanna travel on a jet plane, get on board a fast train, far away...and break away.

Just thought I'd post one final time before I leave for bonny Scotland since I don't think I'll really be arsed to post while I'm away. I might, but I doubt it.

I am so excited about my trip but in one way I really don't want to go. It's only been dawning on me in the last day or two that I'll be away from Christian for a whole month. That means that only 11 of the 12 months in this year I'll be spending with him! It's scary as all hell. I keep on grabbing him and hugging the breath out of him in an attempt to store up on hugs before I leave.

*sniff*

I'll miss my beloved Christian so much.

I am excited though, honest! I am very much looking forward to it. Only one day to go!

The Count Down Begins

My philosophy this weekend was to cram as much as I could into three days so the time would fly by and then the day I leave for Scotland would be so much closer!

On Friday after work I met up with a Kat, a girlfriend of mine who works with Christian. We were going to Sexpo, an adults only exhibition being held at the Perth Convention Centre. We didn't really know what to expect as we'd not been before but we were both thinking it wouldn't be as risque as it was made out to be. Upon entering our minds were changed by the topless women handing out brochures. If we got to see boobs within thirty seconds it couldn't be that prudish!

We both had immense fun there. We rode 'The Gerbil', a ghost train with a bit of a difference. Apart from the fact the handlebars were erect dicks, we were bamboozled with scenes of bondage, S&M and golden showers, not the sort of thing you'd find at the Royal Show.

We got to have a feel of all the vibrating goodies at a toy stall and we bought showbags and then headed off to see a strip show and a lingerie parade.

We left to go get some dinner and met up with Christian, Dan and sexy Mike who had been having their own fun at a nerdy Magic tournament. Apparently there had been a geek punch up, however the bloody noses didn't stop the nerds from playing for long and soon all was forgiven.

We headed off for a few games of pool, Kat and I enjoying ourselves immensely as Mike got changed in front of us. Then we all headed back to Kats place until the wee hours of the morning, finally getting home at 4:30 to find two very hungry dogs waiting for us.

Last night we went to a Tarantino Theme party for a friend's 25th. It was a great night but we didn't stay out too long as we were both pretty buggered. After one of the guys demonstrated his fire baton twirling skills we headed off, but not before I remembered to get some pics (I always take my camera but never remember to take any photos). The ones of me and Christian were taken here before we went out but the rest are from the party.

This is me as a very unconvincing vampire

Christian as Mr Pink

Dan as Kevin from Sin City

Mike (not sexy Mike, but still rather hot I reckon) as Seth from Dusk Till Dawn, some random guy I don't know dressed as some character I don't know, and Glenn, dressed as a generic victim from any number of films

Julie, our lovely hostess, dressed as Alabama from True Romance

So, soccer this arvo, last minute packing and shopping for stuff I've forgotten tomorrow, then off to catch up with my sisters before I leave, work on Tuesday and then Wednesday I leave. Yay! See, the time is flying by already!

In a past life, I was Santa.

My most favourite part of Christmas is buying present for everyone. I just love buying stuff for people. I probably don't make the best selections, but as long as I'm having fun, I say 'What does it matter?'.

So when I discovered that it was going to be a whole group of people coming to Scotland, I went into over drive and started shopping. I've bought everyone a little something, I just hope that I haven't gotten then something they will hate. For most of the pressies I shopped at Australian Geographic which is one of my favourite stores but I didn't limit myself to just Australiana, especially for Smerk. Why buy her a stuffed Kangaroo when she can drive past a dead one on the side of the road? (Ok, I apologise, that probably wasn't necessary...).

I just hope I can fit it all into my luggage. I guess there's always my hand luggage though...I'm sure I'll manage :-)

*note to self* If Acci doesn't end up making it, I must remember to get his postal address so I can send his over. Not showing up isn't enough to get out of getting a pressie!

Weddings, parties, anything

My Dad gets married today. I'm rather upset as he chose a spot some 9000 odd miles away and so I couldn't attend. I wish Dad and his new wife Di all the best of luck for their future together.

Another reason to celebrate is that in a week (and a few hours) I will be getting on a plane and heading to Edinburgh where I shall finally meet Boo and a host of other wonderful people. Will the world come to a crashing halt? Only time will tell. However, it is a reason to party, even if it is an end-of-the-world party.

And onto the 'anything' part. I have realised that I have read very few new books lately as I have a tendency to re-read my favourites. So here's a list of books that I have recently devoured with a note next to them on how many times I've read them.

Hippo Eats Dwarf by Alex Boese (once - sorry Alex, I haven't had a chance to read it again as yet. However, I do happen to have a 20 hour flight soon so there will be plenty of time for that then)

Omnibus by Grant Naylor, also known separately as Red Dwarf - Infinity welcomes careful drivers and Better than life (twice)

Polgara the Sorceress by David Eddings (more times than I can remember, at least fifteen but probably more)

Wizards first rule by Terry Goodkind (yet again more times than I can count but I'd guess about ten times)

The Plague Race by Edward Marriott (twice)

Black Maria by Dianna Wynn Jones (five times)

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban by J K Rowling (ummmm, I don't think I'll saw how many times I've read this one as it's kind of embarrassing...)

Assassain's Apprentice Trilogy by Robin Hobb (three times. On a side note, I fell in love with Fool and Nighteyes from this series. Just thought I'd share that with you all)

That's about all I've read in the last six months. I haven't really had a chance to read much lately, which is why, apart from enjoying the stories, that I tend to re-read books. If I get busy, I can put it down without wondering desperately what comes next.

The hills have eyes (and millipedes, and bushfires and snakes...)

I received some bad news on Thursday night that made me rather upset, upset enough to blubber like a baby anyway.
For those of you who don't know, Christian and I are have been house-sitting my mother-in-law's house while she has been travelling, saving a deposit so when she came back we could buy the house. Well the MIL is back but house prices have gone up so dramatically in the past 11 months that we can no longer afford to get this house. We knew that the price would increase, but we thought it would be along the lines of 22%-ish which is the mean across the market. However, our house jumped up 46% and our dream of buying it crashed to the ground rather forcefully.
And now I face the prospect of going house hunting as soon as I step off the plane from my international sleepover. MIL wanted me to start looking before I left but as I only have a week and a half left before I jet off, I said 'fat chance'.
There is little hope that we will be able to buy a home in my beloved hills, leaving only the flats as an option. I've never wanted to live down the hill. It's crowded, the blocks are tiny and the burbs resemble rabbit warrens. However, faced with the prospect of not having any choice, I've started to dwell on the down points of living in the hills and also this house (which I have quite an emotional attachment to now) to make the move a little easier.
To begin with is the large advantage of not having to worry about doing my firebreaks every summer now. This includes cleaning out the gutters every two weeks in winter as there are no where near as many trees in the burbs as opposed to the hills.
Then there's the fact that there are substantially fewer creepy crawlies down the hill, including millipedes.
Added to this is that both Christian and myself will live much closer to work and so we will save tremendous amounts of money on fuel.
I've tried to be very critical about the house and have decided that the following list of points will most definitely not be missed once we move. The fact that most of our house inside is exposed brick which makes it very cold in winter. We only have an open fire that is crap at warming even two feet in front of it, let alone the house and so we won't have to worry about replacing it with a slow-burning combustion fire like we'd planned.
Our kitchen is massive (which is a good point) but that it's decked out in 1970's decore is something that I'm looking forward to saying goodbye too.
Our toilet roll holder keeps on breaking so almost every time you use it it clatters to the ground.
We're not connected to the gas mains up here so we have to have an electric stove and oven as bottled gas to too expensive.
Oh, and did I mention the millipedes?

There you have it. I must keep these points firmly in front of me so I don't gets so upset about having to move. With any luck we'll find a house up this way, but if not, I'll have a running chance at settling in down the hill.

There's no place like home...

Ok, I'll throw this out there right at the beginning of this post so no one is left confused. I am not in any way a believer in premonition or that dreams have meanings. I roll my eyes when my older sister declares that she dreamt of an impending disaster and that we should all avoid visiting a particular place at a particular time. I snort with laughter when people tell me they are a big Nostradamus fan. I mentally restrain myself from making a derisive comment when my mother tells me she drove home from work via a different route because she had a 'feeling'. I may be extremely gullible when it comes to many other subjects, but not with this one.

Now, in my last post, I mentioned that I had been having nightmares lately. One of my nightmares was about tornadoes. This is a recurring bad dream, I have them rather often and I always wake up terrified. Now, my older sister is fascinated by these monsters. She loves watching documentaries about tornadoes, knows pretty much all there is to know about them and is scarily close to wanting to move to the US just to be closer to them (I've suggested on numerous occasions that she should actually speak to someone who has lost their home or loved one to a tornado before making the big move).

I was speaking to Mum about these dreams and how it's funny that Jo is fascinated while I can't sleep properly due to them (although I must admit I am rather fascinated too...). Mum enlightened me that my younger sister Barb is terrified too. And so I ended up speaking to Barb about our fear and of my nightmares.

This is going somewhere, I promise.

Anyhow, I was telling Barb about the dreams I had had, but the one that keeps recurring is one where I am driving along Roe highway, just out of Midland and there is a tornado coming towards me from west. Barb butts in and exclaims that she has had exactly the same dream many a time and that we couldn't both have been dreaming about the same thing. It wasn't that I recounted my dream and she said it was the same - she was literally finishing my sentences describing the dream. When we stopped and thought about it, this has happened before.

A year or two back, I had phoned Barb one morning and she commented that I sounded rather tired. I said that yes, I was, I'd been up half the night after having some really weird dreams. Not scary dreams or nightmares, but just odd dreams. She said that she had been too and asked what I had been dreaming about. I told her that I had been dreaming about being back in primary school but I left out the bit about me spending most of the dream in one of the toilet blocks as I thought that was just too weird. She goes 'Oh, I had a dream about being back in primary school too. But I was in the toilet block by the music room'. Exactly where I had been in my dream.

Now, I just think that that's just darned weird. Why on earth would my sister and I be having the exact same dreams, not only once, but twice (that we know about anyway)? I know we're close, she's my best friend and she married my husbands best friend, but surely we're not that close. The only thing that could make this any weirder is if Flora tells me she's dreamed about being in the toilets at my old primary school.

Nettie's Dream Diary

It's been an interesting week for me, not all of it good, but most of it has been great, so I'll start with the good stuff and bore you with the bad stuff at the end.

Good: On Thursday is was the ten year anniversary of the day Christian and I started dating.
We were in high school and had friends in common but had never actually had a class together and so didn't know anything about each other apart from names. I was having a party and asked Mike (my now brother-in-law) if he'd bring along some of his mates to even up the boy/girl odds. He brought Christian and two weeks later we started going out. The rest is history!

We went out for dinner after work on Thursday, to a restaurant called The Olive Tree which is in West Perth (just in case anyone is ever in Perth and looking for a place to eat) and had the best time. We had our wedding reception there and they are just the nicest people. They even made up special meals for Christian so he wouldn't be too full when he played soccer later on (he ended up having a very nancy meal if you ask me - salad, vegetarian filo parcel and fruit salad compared to my ravioli, fish and apple crumble!).
Afterwards, if you haven't already guessed, Christian had a soccer game and so I got to be thoroughly entertained there (is perving on other blokes on your anniversary considered bad taste? Even if I'm also perving on my hubby?). The guys lost but it was a really close game and it was only because of a dubious umpiring call that the other team had a shot at goal (they weren't getting anywhere near the thing on their skill alone).

Good: Last weekend I spoke to Chary for the first time. We did it over an msn chat and apart from being a little crackly at times due to a slow connection, it was really good. We didn't speak for as long as Flora and I usually do, but it was rather late for Chary and he did have to work the next morning. The best part about this is that I now feel like I 'know' another person who I'll be seeing in May. I'm a bit odd in that way. I can chat to someone for hours on the net but I feel like I know them better after an hour long phone conversation.

Good: It's not only two and a half weeks till I fly out for Scotland! (well two weeks, five days to be exact but why split hairs?)

Bad: I've been having nightmares all this week. They have all happened in the morning after Christian has left for work and I have an hour and a bit left to sleep in. I think it's because of the interrupted sleep but I'm not too sure. They have all been different but in all of them, I've felt completely powerless to stop whats going on. After I've woken up and had time to make my brain work, they seem very silly but at the time they really do frighten me.
In one, I couldn't stop my nephew Caleb from running onto the road, in another I was trying to hide from Reavers (those of you who know Firefly and Serenity will know what I'm on about), and this morning I had an awful one about tornadoes (which is a recurring one. I'm terrified of the things even though we've never had a really big one in Australia).
Mum thinks I'm working out anxiety about my trip away because I feel so helpless in my dreams. I really couldn't say what's causing them but I hope they stop soon because they're leaving me feeling exhausted.

Happy Easter Everyone!

Even though it doesn't feel like it at all, happy Easter everyone!

Now, who wants to play a game? I don't have any spare eggs laying around (they're all MINE!) so we can't have an egg hunt, but I have a different game we can play. How bout we all play 'Doctors and Nurses'?

It's really easy to play. I'll give you a list of symptoms and you try and guess what caused them. Then afterwards I'll be available for a full examination if anyone is interested ;-)

Symptoms include: tender ear lobes
hoarse voice
sore buttocks
hyperactivity

Now all of you who guessed a night on the town with a drunk, cross dressing stripper from Peru, would be wrong.

Those of you who guessed a five hour, ten minute, world record breaking phone conversation with Flora, you'd be right.

It just really goes to prove that none of you are going to be able to get a word in edge ways with us in just under four weeks time. We will talk you all under the table and still have stuff to talk about. There should be a warning on your airline tickets that reminds you to bring some earplugs.

But enough about you lot! Boo and I had an absolute ball last night and I really just can't wait to meet her! We laughed so hard which caused some problems as Boo tends to get a sharp pain in the back of her skull when she laughs too hard so it sounded much like this: Ahahahahahah ow ow it hurts, it hurts ahahahahahah ow ow ahahahahahaha ow ow ahahahaha.
We were in fits if giggles bad enough that at times we couldn't even speak. Mention the phrase 'engorged vaginal canal' to either of us in Scotland, and you'll see what I mean.

But eventually the conversation had to end. If we could have, I'm sure we would have both stayed on the phone for the next few weeks, only saying goodbye when I had to catch my plane, but it just wasn't really viable. *sigh*

Anyway, you have been warned. We wouldn't want any of you to be ignorant of just exactly what you're in for come May.

Have a lovely Easter everyone
*hugs*

P.S. Flora, Mr Finger sends his warmest greetings!

Interesting shower reading

Whilst soaking under a hot shower this morning, I happened to read the ingredient list on my body wash and my face wash. It read like a very long, hard to pronounce shopping list.

Body Wash: Water, Sodium Laureth Sulfate, Cocamidopropyl Bataine, Glycol Stearate, Propylene Glycol (and) Sambucus Nigra Flower Extract (and) Primula Veris Extract (and) Chamomilla Recutita (Matricaria) Extract (and)Helianthus Annuus (Sunflower) extractVanilla PLanifolia Fruit Extract, Retinyl Palmitate, Tocopheryl Acetate, Hydroxypropyl Guar Hydroxypropyl Trimonium Chloride, Isostearamidopropyl Morpholine Lactate, Hyroxopropyl Methylcellulose, DMDM Hydantoin, Citric Acid, Disodium EDTA, Sodium Chloride, Fragrance, Yellow 5, Yellow 6.

I bet your eyes glazed over once you reached 'water' eh? Well, here we go again.

Face Wash: Water, Sodium Laureth Sulfate, Cocamidopropyl, Betaine, Ammonium Lauryl Sulfate Cocamide Dea, Glycol Distearate (and) Sodium Laureth Sulfate (haven't they already mentioned this one???) (and) Cocamide Mea (and)Laureth-10, Polyquarternium 7, Fragrance, Methychloroisothiazolinone (Is this one of the longest words in the world?) (and) Methylisothiazolinone, Citric Acid, Sodium Chloride.

Makes me have second thoughts about using such concoctions...

Libra Wisdom - take 2

As promised, I bring you more tidbits of trivia from our friends in feminine hygiene.

Odd Spot #37: The names of all the continents end with the same letter they start with.

Odd Spot #95: The word 'lethologica' describes the state of not being able to rememeber the word you want.

Odd Spot #22: If the population of China walked past you in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

Odd Spot #141: There are three golf balls sitting on the moon.

Odd Spot #152: In a study of 200,000 ostriches over a period of 80 years, no one reported a single case where an ostrich buried it's head in the sand.

Odd Spot # 102: Bulletproof vests, fire escapes, laser printers and windshield wipers were all invented by women.

Odd Spot #: The average human body contains enough sulphur to kill all the fleas on an average dog.

Odd Spot #80: The youngest pope was eleven years old.

Odd Spot #153: The average human body contains enough iron to make a 7.62cm nail.

Odd Spot #4: The most common non-contagious disease in the world is tooth decay.

Odd Spot #8: Grapes explode when you put them in the microwave

There you have it. More utterly useless information that you can use to bring conversation to a complete halt at your next dinner party.

The Ultimate Heartbreak

Most of you will know by now that Christian and I are trying for a baby. What most of you didn't know was that for almost two weeks now, there was a bloody good chance I was pregnant.

It started with my period being late. I've not ever had cause for my periods being late before but I waited it out a little. Then I started feeling a bit sick every now and then and rushing to the loo at lot. So I did a test. Negative. No worries, it's early days yet and not everyone does a positive test in the first few weeks.

Fast forward to this week and my monthlies still hadn't arrived and my hopes started rising. Add to this that I had been so tired that I could hardly stay awake past 8pm and everyone I spoke too assured me I would be popping out a mini-me by Christmas.

So I did another test yesterday. I have never been so nervous in my life. I had butterflies in my stomach and I was almost giddy with excitement. I had let everyone talk me into getting excited. Against my better judgement, I was convinced I was pregnant.

When that second damn line failed to show, I felt sick. There had to be some mistake. My period was two weeks late. How could I not be pregnant? All the signs were there, what was I missing?

I was so upset. I bawled like the baby I so desperately want and wallowed in my own misery. To make matters worse, early this morning my period started, snuffing out the last flicker of hope I had left. I guess I should look at the positives - that I won't have to deal with throwing up every five minutes on the plane to Scotland for one, having another 'Libra wisdom' post for another.

And so next month begins and we'll try again. However, this time I will not get excited until I have two bloody lines show up on that stupid little pee test.

Who put that door there?

I was at a loss as to what to post about today - nothing terribly exciting has happened lately. And then it hit me. Well, actually, the door hit me. The door frame, to be more precise. Or, maybe it was me who hit the door frame?

You see, I would have to be the clumsiest git who has ever lived. 'Accident prone' my Mother used to say. I just manage to injure myself on a constant basis.

Whenever Christian hears a thump and a hastily bitten off swear word he yells out "What on Earth have you walked into now?" because it is almost always me not seeing the wall/corner/door frame and heavily colliding with it. I'm lucky I don't bruise easily or I'd have many a raised eyebrow and concerned questions regarding my marriage.

When I was younger, there was an official inquest into my family because my school thought I was being abused at home. It all happened after one particularly nasty week.
It started off with me falling over on my rollerskates and bruising my hip. The next day I was playing with my cousin and I fell onto the window ledge and further bruised the same hip. I had to go to the doctors for my asthma and Mum got my hip checked out as she was worried I may have fractured a bone. No fracture but the following day at school I slipped on some playground equipment and hit my head. Hard. I don't remember much of the rest of the day but I was taken to hospital by ambulance with swelling and bruising to my brain (No one say a word! I was dumb to begin with!) . I had to stay home from school the next day and I was so bored that when my sisters got home we started playing chasey. I went flying over a chair and put my knee through the glass front of a cabinet and ended up needing five staples to keep my kneecap from falling out.

Mother was not impressed! She had a hard time convincing the authorities that it was because I was clumsy, and not because I pissed off my parents.

So now I kind of stumble through life, trying to avoid things made of concrete and always looking for a soft landing. Unfortunately, my name means 'Grace'. It's quiet laughabe actually as I have all the grace as a blindfolded mating rhinoceros.

PS. Odd fact about me #2 - I have broken my little toes so many times that they no longer touch the ground. When I have wet feet, I leave four toed footprints.

Attack of the millipedes

One of the lovely little quirks of living in Perth is the millipede invasion that occurs every winter. I forget where the millipedes come from - it's South Africa or somewhere like that, but somehow they ended up here and they are a pain in the arse if there ever was one.

From the first rains, nowhere is sacred. The small smelly creepy crawlies come in under doors, through gaps in the flyscreen on windows, they gather in large numbers in the bath and are fond of dropping from the ceiling onto unsuspecting victims. Their skins are acidic and if you are unlucky enough to have one crawl into bed with you, you are greeted in the morning with strange half moon burns all over your body.

Perth has had a weird summer this year which has included quiet a bit of unseasonal rain. Such rain occurred earlier this week and out came the millipedes. In droves. Into my house. They're everywhere.

And so, yet again begins the battle between me and the millipedes. I'll hit them with everything I've got; pesticide, tomato dust, my trusty vacuum cleaner. Only God himself knows how this will end.

I'll keep you posted.

Where am I?

Just letting you guys know that I'm alive and well but haven't been on for a while due to lots of things going wrong.
Biggest of all was my Mum was in a car accident on Tuesday. She's ok, but very shaken up. She was taking off from a green light when a little kid (bout 13 I think) on a bike ran the red light and smashed into the side of her car. Mum had no idea what had happened except her window imploded. So she stopped and saw this kid laying on the ground. He's ok too, couldn't stop apologising apparently.
Also, I've started my new role at work and it's a lot to take in, and I'm getting out rather late and also feeling exhausted, so I haven't been feeling like doing much except sleep. It doesn't help that the woman training me is the most condescending woman in the world. Talk about been made to feel an inch high.
Anyways, that's about it. I'll hopefully get around to seeing you all in the next day or two.
Love yas.

A bit of this, a bit of that

After a couple of weeks, I thought it was high time for an update. I have recovered from my bout of the plague, organs intact and am proceeding to catch up with life. It's always hard to come to terms with the fact that you've slept almost an entire week away.

I start full time at work tomorrow, a decision that I may come to regret, but hopefully wont. I am taking on the 'Teller A' role which involves many more duties and quite a bit more responsibility. I will become treasury custodian, will be responsible for ordering and clearing cash, process the business express deposits plus a few other bits and bobs as well as my normal telling duties. It's going to be extremely full on for the first month or two, but after that at least I'll have my holiday to look forward too.

Meanwhile, I've been reading and watching a lot of Red Dwarf. Years ago I had seen a few episodes and found it funny and amusing but I was never what you'd call a 'die hard' fan. It was shown at a particular time on telly that found me usually out of the house or otherwise occupied and so I never watched a lot of it. Years passed and I picked up the first book while visiting my brother in law last week.

I was hooked after the first sentence 'Saunders had been dead for almost two weeks now and, so far, hadn't enjoyed a minute of it', but by page 26 after this paragraph describing McIntyre's suicide 'The rubber plant was surprised. If the rubber plant could have spoken, it wouldn't have said a thing. That's how surprised the rubber plant was. Over the last few weeks it had witnessed the gradual deterioration of McIntyre's mental health, but if the rubber plant had had a name it would have said: "George McIntyre is not the kind of guy to commit suicide, or my name's not..." - whatever it's name would have been, had it had one.' - I had fallen in love with the books. I laughed so hard at times, I cried. Which is probably not the best thing to do when you're alone in the lunch room with your boss. You do tend to get some funny looks.

So, once I'd read the first two books (Mike doesn't have the last two and no ruddy bookshop in Perth seems to stock them anymore), I began watching the series. I had bought Christian the series 1 dvd for Chrissy so I started with that and then went out and bought 2 and 4 (3 had sold out). So I've worked my way through them and now can't wait for the time when I can afford to blow another ridiculous amount of money on more dvds. I'm loving every moment though and the episodes I had seen previously, I find even funnier now that I'm a fan as I get the character jokes.

Oh, and I suppose it wouldn't really be me if I didn't add that I find Rimmer, in his own nerdy way, rather sexy ;-)

Catch you on the flip side guys.

I feel such a fraud

Here I am, off sick for my third day in a row. However, unlike Wednesday or even yesterday, I am not hunched over the toilet trying to dislodge my inners, nor in a semi-comatose state, rather I am feeling almost 100% again and more than healthy enough to return to work.

Unfortunately, due to a silly legal technicality, I cannot return to work toady because my doctor told me to have today off and gave me a medical certificate covering me for Thursday and today. I rang my boss yesterday and told her what had transpired but I was feeling much better and would most likely be in today. She then told me that if I had a doctor's certificate, I couldn't come in to work as I would not be covered under insurance and if I injured myself or we were held up, I would be screwed.

So here I am, sitting at home, feeling like a fraud. I've never chucked a sickie when I wasn't sick. Even when I am truly sick, I feel guilty for not going into work. So I feel awful being at home when I feel well enough to work.

I know most of you are saying to yoursleves 'God I wish my doctor would give me a couple of days off' and I know I should just take it easy and make sure I'm completely recovered before I go back, but I feel bad for my colleagues. The work load gets harder on them and when we have a person off sick we almost always get out late.

But enough of my whinging for now. I'll try and make my next post about something happy and fun. Maybe about butterflies and balloons. Or something.

Fun in the sun

Being the first part of the year, there are a ridiculous amount of public holidays here and Monday is one of them. It's Labour day but the meaning of the day has long since been forgotten and now it only signifies one thing - an extra day off work.

As no one one has to work tomorrow, Christian organised a bbq on the shores of the murky Swan River in Bayswater, and we arrived, picnic blanket in one hand, a pack of sausages in the other, despite the sweltering heat.

We've held one of these before at this spot and although the turnout to this one was smaller, the guys who did rock up are just fantastic and we had a fun time.
Between the lot of us, we had brought two vortexs, a soccer ball, a footy, a couple of tennis balls, a frisbee, a hackey sack, two cricket bats and a tennis racket and the boys set about throwing whatever they could into the air all at once ( a flying cricket bat is not a good idea!)

The funniest bit is watching everyone cover their heads and cower when they hear the evil whistling sound a vortex makes as it flies through the air. Some of the boys could really throw it hard and after several people had been hit, me included, we all took to running for shelter when we heard that ominous sound.

It was a hot day though and we didn't stay too long, only till about three thirty. The sun had done it's job though and most of us are sunburnt. You can clearly see on my arms where I couldn't reach with the sunscreen (I, ah, 'forgot' to take photos...)

I'm exhausted now, I think I have mild sunstroke so I'm going to go lay down for a bit. Sorry this post isn't that long, or even very exciting, but at the moment it's all I can do to stay awake.
Ciao.

P.S. Happy birthday Cammy!

Somewhere in this dump...

I feel extremely sorry for anyone who visits my house who is a 'neat freak'. My house is an absolute pig sty at the moment.

There are dishes piling up on the sink that haven't been done for about four days (I used my last knife tonight), the bed in my spare room is piled high with unfolded washing which, without exaggerating one little bit, I can tell you hasn't been folded in about four months, I have cobwebs on my loungeroom ceiling that I'm not allowed to remove as, according to Christian, they 'keep the mozzies away', and my back verandah is a fire trap waiting to happen as there are leaves piled ankle deep.

Each weekend I tidy the house, vacuum, clean the toilet and the bathroom and then do a few loads of washing to get the towels, sheets and our work uniforms done, but the rest of it just doesn't seem to happen. I hate with a passion doing the dishes and folding washing and so I leave that to my dutiful husband (he manages the dishes usually but not the washing).

I just never seem to find the time to get all those little extra things done that make the difference between 'tidy' and 'clean'. Occasionally I'll just be in a cleaning mood and attack the place with a ferocity that somehow scares me, but these incidents are few and far between.

Does it make me a bad person that I would rather be spending my weekends on the net talking to you lot, or lounging in my hammock reading a book? Personally I don't think so, but the people who get attacked by the creatures growing in my sink may think otherwise.

Anyway, if we ever get around to having an Australian MoH Sleepover, I'll make sure I take the time to clean my place properly.

Just for you.