I've been thinking about doing this post for a week or two now but kept putting it off due to the fact that it may come across as me fishing for compliments. I would just like to assure you that I am indeed not doing anything of the sort, this is an honest conclusion that I have come to and it would be interesting to see if any of you have found it to be the same.
A couple of weeks ago I was suffering from a bout of low self esteem (as per usual) and started pondering the whole self image idea and how I am perceived by others and how I would like to be perceived and then it just moved generally onto the concept of what is attractive and how people view attractive people.
That got a bit rambly, sorry.
Anyway, I thought about this for a while and for once tried to be quite objective about it. I get very depressed and it generally revolves around my body image and so for once I tried to identify why this means so much to me. I didn't actually come to any forgone conclusions regarding that but I did come to this conclusion - bigger women are never described as beautiful
(and I say women because I am one and I am not going to attempt to dissect the problems men have with their body image here today). And I know they say 'Big is beautiful' but we all know that fat women came up with that logo to make ourselves feel better about ourselves...
I'm not saying that there aren't attractive larger people out there, but when people describe those of us who are fatter than the norm, beautiful isn't a word that crops up generally (and I'm putting myself in this category based on my BMI, clothing size and those things in your head called eyes).
Following is a list of words that, in my experience, tend to be used when describing a bigger person of above average looks...
It seems that when people use the word 'beautiful' to describe someone, they are taking into account the whole package. It's someone who has a great figure, great hair, gorgeous eyes, nice skin, a sense of style, perfect posture and poise, are graceful, you know, the whole kit and kaboodle.
Bigger people don't seem to ever have the 'whole package' (except to those few people who defy the norm and fall head over heels in love with us and therefore they are biased)
Instead, if given a compliment it generally refers to a specific feature.
For example I have been complimented on -
*My boobs (on the sheer basis that they are large enough to exert their own gravitational pull)
*My eyes (apparently some people find beady little black eyes nice. I on the other hand wish I had that gorgeous green that both my sisters were blessed with)
*My teeth (The orthodontist promised me that two years of braces would pay off one day)
*My hair (when I actually try it can be quite soft and in winter when it gets damp from the drizzle little ringlets form and frame my face)
*My calves (especially when I've been gyming but even when not I seem to have well defined calf muscles. Above the knee it's cellulite hell)
Now I'm not saying that being called pretty or attractive isn't nice - it is! But at heart every woman wants to be told she's beautiful, and not just during sex because we all know those times don't count! Little girls long to grow up from the ugly duckling into the beautiful swan, teenage girls wish they would be plucked from obscurity by an undercover modelling agent who can see dormant beauty waiting to be discovered, older women want to be those perfect women we see on the cover of magazines and in movies. It's just a fact that every woman want to feel special and beautiful.
What is your experience with this? Are you bigger than normal but get told you're beautiful every day? Or have you come to the same conclusion? Or are you a normal sized person who thinks that bigger women can be beautiful. Or are you just one of those nice people that think beauty is within and no matter what you look like, if you have a beautiful personality that will shine through? Let me know, I'm interested to hear what you have to say.