I think I'm drunk.
I've just downed three Smirnoff Ices' in about 15 minutes, which is about 4 standard drinks. I can't really stand up properly and I've just knocked my mobile and lip gloss to the ground for no apparent reason.
The reason this teetotaller is drinking is because I've had a shockingly bad night. Let's just say the Triplet's 60th didn't go so well behind the scenes as we'd anticipated. When I can talk about it without bawling my eyes out, I'll do another post, but right now I am bawling so it will have to wait for another night.