I have a friend at the moment who has split up with his wife in the last couple of months.
Problem is, I'm not really supposed to know about it. This guy (who I won't name because there's a chance people who know him may read this, I'll call him Bill) is a really good friend of my husband and I. Christian has known him since the beginning of high school and I met him through Christian.
Bill and his wife have been together for years (almost as long as Christian and I have been) and no one really had any idea what was going on. Unfortunately due to distances between where we live, we don't see him very often so we mainly catch up on the internet or via sms. A while ago Christian started to get a bit worried as Bill wasn't rerurning calls or texting back. Another friend (well call him Fred) went to see Bill and was told all about the breakup. Bill was in a really bad state and Fred was really worried, so he went to Christian for advice.
Now, we can debate over the moral issues of Fred telling Christian this for hours, but Fred was really worried and he really thought this was in Bill's best interests so I'm not going to discuss it any further.
Christian and Fred took Bill out for the day to cheer him up but it didn't really work and he seems to be getting really bad. We had a phonecall from Fred last night and he was saying that Bill had called him, really drunk and saying he wanted to just end it all and he couldn't live without his wife.
Now, I am really worried too and I wanted Christian to call Bill and make sure he's ok, but Christian says that he can't, because officially he doesn't know about it. I sent Bill an sms asking him to come over for Christmas but haven't heard anything back yet.
I just don't know what to do. Should we respect Bill's privacy and his wish for no one to know, or should I go bang down his door and make sure he's ok. I just don't want him doing anything silly and I also want him to know that there are people who love him and are thinking about him.
I know I'll end up respecting his wishes and will stay quiet, but I don't know if that's the right thing to do. I don't want to look back in hindsight after something terrible has happened and think 'Maybe I could have made a difference'.