Gosh, this past year has gone by so fast! I was very sad when I realised that this time last year, I was in Edinburgh celebrating my birthday with my best friend. I would give anything to be able to back there :(
I told Flora the other day that I miss her so much that sometimes I just want to curl up in a ball and sob. Some days I love the fact that modern technology has evolved to the point that you can connect so deeply with someone on the other side of the world but other days it hits me that this is all well and good but she is still on the other side of the world.
Anyways, I'm very lucky in the fact that I have some absolutely wonderful friends who happen to live much closer and so I planned a little birthday celebration to mark the timely arrival of a few new wrinkles and a grey hair! Hopefully it won't be much longer that I'll still be asked for ID!
Even though we were having a casual party here at home where babies would almost outnumber adults, I wanted to dress up. I guess the party itself was an excuse to wear my new pretties! I made Christian get a photo of me before everyone else arrived.
What can I say? I LOVE this outfit! Just wearing it makes me feel so glamourous and graceful and beautiful (of course, I'm not nearly as graceful in real life as proven when I squat down to show a little girl our colour changing solar lights, stood on my petticoat and ripped a hefty volume of it right off when I stood up but I digress...) . After I'd gotten changed, I called out to Christian 'You wanna know something?'. He mumbled back something that sounded vaguely like a 'Yes' and so I made a dramatic entrance into the study and proclaimed 'I look fucking fantastic!'.
This is the power of this outfit. It can make a woman who has little self esteem feel amazing. Worth every penny in my books!
It wasn't long before people started showing up but I must admit, I was well off my game that night as I didn't take many photos at all. It may have had something to do with the drop in temperature. It was rather chilly and so we didn't venture outside but stayed congregated in my dining room. The evening therefore felt a little different to our usual gatherings. Maybe it's the Aussie in me but I prefer sitting around the outside table in plastic chairs, watching people play darts and just generally larking about. Inside, in a more confined space people seem to be a little more reserved. Of course it was still a great time, but nothing occurred that will go down in our 'party history' (see The Great Fire Blaze of 2010 or Christian's Drunken Stagger of '08).
I did take a few photos and here is a small selection.
Sarah, Tash and I show off our awesome outfits.
Awesome outfits deserve awesome shoes. I feel I may have let the team down somewhat here but I rather liked how my ankle boots looked.
Barb and Co couldn't make it since they are being plagued with pneumonia which left Darcie feeling a little bored I think. I took a couple of photos of us together but made sure they were fun ones.
Despite the numerous newborns, we still kicked on till after midnight and by then I was dead on my feet. Getting old is exhausting ;-)
I fell into bed and it was one of those moments where it just feels so good to be in bed that you just lie there in contented bliss for a while. I fell asleep soon after only to be woken relatively early the next morning by my Dad phoning from Canada because he'd missed my actual birthday. I felt bad that our conversation was so short but sleep beckoned once more and I slept for another hour or two.
The rest of the day was mostly spent in my jarmies, reading a book, eating copious amounts of leftover cake and shopping online for more gorgeous clothes. I discovered this website which is where my outfit originated from. Now that I have made this amazing discovery, I shall skip the middleman and save myself some money...not hugely charitable of me considering I bought the dress from a local supplier but in times like these it's every woman for herself. The money I save will be enough to buy more pretties. Vain, yes. Selfish, probably. Smart, you bet!
Other than having an awesome night for my birthday, things have being going really well for me lately. I'm actually happy. Which I don't think I have been in a long while. That 'special friend' I wrote about a while back has been pulled out by the roots and kicked to the curb. Am I upset about the loss of that friendship? Of course I am. But at the end of the day, it was poisoning my self esteem and was the main reason for my cutting. I realised that I'm worth so much more than that and even though it was the hardest thing I've ever done, I also think it was the smartest thing I've ever done. It's just improved my mental health so much which obviously has had a ripple effect on other aspects of my life. Things with Christian are better than ever, I've reconnected with my sisters, my self esteem has improved. And obviously reading my blog posts will be much easier for YOU since they aren't so God damn depressing anymore!
Thanks so much though, each and every one of you for being there for me. I know most of you live far away but knowing that I was never far from your thoughts made it easier to pull through.
Love you all xoxoxo